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Band 7

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001.
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The bar chart illustrates how many male and female school students participated in mathematics classes of an advanced level in the USA in 1982, 1992 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of students of both sexes studying maths decreased significantly over 32 32-year
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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, with the biggest drop seen in the first decade, particularly for
boys
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 more girls attended advanced mathematics classes than
boys
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 in each period, the difference was relatively small throughout. In 1982, the number of
girl
Correct your spelling
female
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 students attending high-level math classes was the highest of both genders in any of the three years, standing at around 35
million
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.
However
Linking Words
, over the next 10 years,
this
Linking Words
 figure fell dramatically to slightly less than 25
million
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 and, by 2002, had almost halved to around 17
million
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. The trend for
boys
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 followed the same downward pattern as the girls.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there were only slightly fewer
boys
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 enrolled in maths programmes than girls in 1982 (just over 30
million
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),
this
Linking Words
 number plummeted to around 15
million
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 in 1992.In the final period, the decrease was a lot less dramatic, so the difference between the genders in 2002 was the same as it had been in 1982 (around 3
million
Use synonyms
).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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