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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people argue that in order to improve educational equality, high school students are encourage to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Other think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In our modern era, some people suggest that students should be motivated to criticise or correct educators to improve the equal educational environment.
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While other
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Other
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 folks believe that
such
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 behavior may result in a lack of respect and
inability
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an inability
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 to maintain control over the classroom. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and share my opinion. On the one hand, the first group supports pupils to speak their minds and express their criticism freely about educators to enhance equality in schools.
This
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 means when a student is treated unfairly by a teacher, they can speak up and defend themselves by highlighting the mistakes made against them.
As a result
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, pupils will not feel oppressed or fear that the
teachers
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 will abuse their authority.
For instance
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, recent studies have shown that pupils who express their feelings and thoughts freely in school have high confidence and stability rates and are able to maintain
an
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apply
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excellent performance in
the
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apply
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school.
On the other hand
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, the second group believes that encouraging the
behavior
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behaviour
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 that occurs will definitely lead to rude attitudes towards
teachers
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 and
making
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cause
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 chaos in class.
This
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 is because it's known that
teachers
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 hold a
high regard
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high-regard
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 position in society, and they have the same sense of respect and authority that we feel towards our parents.
Therefore
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, without the social status that they hold, maintaining discipline in the class and raising a well-mannered generation will not be possible. To illustrate, studies show that
educators
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educators'
educator's
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 respect is key to classroom discipline and student success.
To conclude
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, it's true that expressing opinions has a tremendous impact,
such
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 as feeling equality and justice.
However
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, I firmly believe that
teachers
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 should be respected as
a
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apply
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parent
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parents
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 and not undermined in any way.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all main points are well-supported with examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more linking words and transitions to improve the logical flow and connection between ideas in different paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, clearly stating each perspective before giving your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion successfully frame the essay, presenting the topic and summarizing the points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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