IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the changes in the rate of sales of Gold in Dubai in one year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparison where relevant.

The line graph below shows the changes in the rate of sales of Gold in Dubai in one year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, make comparison where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the annual change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the Gold sold in Dubai in 2002 and measures it in Dirhams.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a noticeable fluctuation over the period with a dramatic decrease in sales from
March
Use synonyms
 to July.
Also
Linking Words
,
March
Use synonyms
 was the most profitable
month
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 July and September were the least lucrative. In detail, in January the
overall
Linking Words
 amount of gold sold within Dubai comprised 200 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Dirhams, and
then
Linking Words
 it increased by approximately 25 million in the next
month
Use synonyms
. From February to
March
Use synonyms
 a significant rise to 350 million is observed, in the same
month
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 was a peak of the sales. From
March
Use synonyms
 onwards there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a considerable and sharp decrease until July, when people cumulatively had spent approximately 110
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the rate increased slightly by 90
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 before receding to the same number in the following
month
Use synonyms
. From
this
Linking Words
 point, gold revenue started to grow with an insignificant oscillation in November.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words march, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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