IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 terms
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 changing patterns of domestic
access
Use synonyms
 to modern
technology
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 in the UK. In
this
Linking Words
 essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explore and summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant during
this
Linking Words
 period
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 from 1996, 1998,2000 and until 2002.
This
Linking Words
 line
gragh
Correct your spelling
graph
foucs
Correct your spelling
focuses
 on
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
home
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
cd
Correct your spelling
CD
show examples
playor
Correct your spelling
player
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will start with 1996 no one
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 that time
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life was primitive. used of mobile
phone
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 it was in 1996 lowest
level
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 by 20
percentage
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
computer
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 came at
secound
Correct your spelling
second
level
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 by 30
percentage
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,
CD
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 player it was in
highest
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the highest
show examples
level
Use synonyms
 in 1996 by
approximatlly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 60
percentage
Use synonyms
. In 1998,
technology
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 was
Add an article
a development
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development
Replace the word
developed
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 that time the
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
Correct pronoun usage
who start
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start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
percentage
Use synonyms
 was 10. using
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phone
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 it
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 in high comparing by 1996 by 40
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and 60
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 for mobile
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, the highest
level
Use synonyms
 in 1998
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
Use synonyms
CD
Correct article usage
the CD
show examples
 player. In 2000
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of using
technology
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 it
was raise
Change the verb form
was raised
was raising
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
, and
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home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 it was at 50
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
, mobile used was
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think at 45
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
,
CD
Use synonyms
 player
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was at
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
level
Use synonyms
 by 80 In 2002
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 it was at
highest
Correct pronoun usage
their highest
show examples
 peak
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
Add an article
a year
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1996,1998,2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, access, technology, home, computer, internet, phone, cd, level with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 12 times.
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