The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generation. What are the reasons for this, and How this problem be tackled.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Well, actually the population increase in every year, with the young people, there are 70 per cent of the young adults older comparing humans,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

there are many advantages, and disadvantages as well, one of the healthy items

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

, the young generations are our future, but anyway it depends on their

attude

Correct your spelling

attitude

, and their personalities to be a good person,

moreover

Linking Words

smart, and make any useful things to

thier

Correct your spelling

their

society, to make their county grow, and trying to make it a modern. The biggest disadvantage is based on that, the young adults are starting to make a family at an early age

while

Linking Words

they are still

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

children in an adults skin

forthemore

Correct your spelling

furthermore

, they

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

a lot of members at their own family,

Change the capitalization

show examples

think the government must change the

sitengs

Correct your spelling

settings

of the country law and warning the people for make at least four children, even it is more healthy for livers of the country, sometimes humans are should think about our world, and future too.

xalilovamirxon6Mon Jan 27 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Focus on providing a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Your introduction should clearly define the issue and state the purpose of the essay.

Coherent Structure

Structure your essay with clear paragraphs that each cover a single main idea.

Examples and Details

Provide more relevant examples and details to better illustrate your points and persuade your reader.

Conclusion

Develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and offer a solution.

Coverage of Topic

Your essay attempts to cover both advantages and disadvantages of the issue discussed, which is a positive start.

Complex Ideas

You addressed some complex ideas regarding the societal impact of young populations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

166 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an ongoing debate over whether the government should allocate the their budget to science domain education rather than other fields in order to develop the country. Although, it is crucial to progress other subjects owing to the wide citizens knowledge, I am the opinion that the investment more money to the science study might be improve the well-being of society, as well as economy.
<4
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning language is in order to travel ro or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is true many individuals argued about that learning another language does not necessary for them. On the other hand, some peoples statement that learning strangers language will be help for them. In my opinion, it will be depends about the context.
4.5
band
Some people think that an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Some people consider that car-free days effectively decrease the air pollution, while others think there are other actions which are more impactful for minimalizing this global issue. In my opinion, I believe that both argument have positive impact for reducing air pollution, so these two methods should be combined.
5
band
It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.
Technology is continuously modifying our culture and lifestyle, and people are adapting to these changes. However, I disagree with the idea that cultures and traditions will be lost altogether in the future.
7
band
Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.
I am lucky to have grown up in a family prioritising health over anything. My mother taught me about oral hygiene awareness from an early age. Because of that, I never had severe dental issues in my life. She also likes to ensure we have enough fruit and vitamin stocks at home. Nonetheless, my father is conscious of the importance of physical activity and always reminds me to exercise regularly in order to maintain my physical condition. In our leisure time, my family likes to train together. However, in my early years of medical school, I could not exercise regularly due to the strict academic timetable. Sometimes, I also eat outside and ignore the food’s nutrition. Unfortunately, I caught a gastrointestinal infection right in the week of my clinical skills assessment, which is essential for my grade. It was very stressful, and my stomach really hurt. The doctor’s examination shows I am severely dehydrated and need an intravenous infusion. That was my first time getting an infusion...

The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generation. What are the reasons for this, and How this problem be tackled.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the only reason for learning language is in order to travel ro or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.