IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote

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There is no doubt that teenager are neglecting the most crucial things in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as votes to their right . In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss some causes associated with juveniles and suggest some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
. one cause is that the youth do not pay attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 political concerns.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2020 the great person
called
Verb problem
apply
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Imran Khan
did
Verb problem
was
show examples
 not
nominate
Wrong verb form
nominated
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 for the
president
Replace the word
presidential
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 position.
This
Linking Words
 is an issue that caused corruption in
country
Add an article
the country
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. The nation
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 need
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 organizations and instructions in order to develop the habitat and city citizens live in freedom . To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 , parents should educate their offspring about the significant social issues that
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
voice
Correct article usage
a voice
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 from all dwellers in the kingdom .
As a result
Linking Words
 , the country will have
president
Add an article
a president
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 who can make a change that will enhance the society.
Second
Change the article
The second
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problem
Use synonyms
 is that the adults are worried about their future in university and do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
for looking
Change preposition
to look
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about
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their rights from
authorities
Correct article usage
the authorities
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, university students are spending almost their time at college, and only elder people are experienced the vote with
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 .To solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, the educational institute must inform their pupils about the importance of the
of the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
contribution of all members that will constitute a considerable difference .
As a result
Linking Words
, the residents will gain their rights from
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
, and the state will not suffer from any
problem
Use synonyms
 In conclusion, ignoring younger generation
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vote
Fix the agreement mistake
votes
show examples
 for their rights
that is
Linking Words
 because they are illiterate about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial collaboration and they are occupied by
multitask
Wrong verb form
multitasking
show examples
 related to their future,
Linking Words
However
Fix capitalization
however
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 can easily be addressed by making them aware
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the parents and directors of universities

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task achievement
Ensure that each point you introduce is followed by supporting details or examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to improve the overall flow.
task achievement
Clarify your main ideas further to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and a summarized conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
There is an attempt to address multiple aspects of the issue, recognizing both causes and solutions.
task achievement
The use of examples related to social issues and educational influence enriches the discourse.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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