IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The planets population is reaching unsustainable levels and people are facing shortage of respurces like water and food. To what consequences may over population lead? In your opinion what measures can be taken to fight over population

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The earth’s rapid population growth
is
Verb problem
has
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 alarmingly reached
into
Change preposition
apply
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unreasonable levels and may
results
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result
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 in inadequate essential resources for lives
such
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 as water and food.
This
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 essay will discuss
on
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apply
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the consequences of uncontrolled
population’s
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population
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 growth and initiatives to combat
this
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 serious phenomenon.
Firstly
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, overpopulation, if it is not handled well, can lead
into
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to
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 many detrimental effects on nature and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. As the population grows, the government need to construct more public facilities
such
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 as residing complexes, schools, and hospitals to accommodate people’s needs.
However
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, deforestation and exploitation of lands are needed in order to build more structures, which
further
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to ecological degradation
, even
Correct word choice
and, even
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 worse,
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the
possibilities
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possibility
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 of man-made disasters.
Secondly
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, increasing environmental pollution
also
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 can be one of the major consequences of unchecked
individuals’
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individual’
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 birth. There will be increasing
of
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in
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 waste products from houses and carbon dioxide expelled from factories and transports;
thus
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,
accumulating
Verb problem
increasing
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 the pollution rates in the world. Ultimately, these implications not only burden the
governments
Use synonyms
 economically
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 threaten many humans’ lives. In my opinion, there are plenty
measures
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of measures
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can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 be taken to overcome the problems of overpopulation.
Governments
Use synonyms
 should play roles in improving healthcare industries, particularly in providing better access to cheaper contraceptive and reproductive health services.
Furthermore
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, they should promote awareness of the advantages of family planning and allow gaining education about pregnancy so they can make informed choices once they get older. By these authorities’ actions, newlyweds and young parents are able to deduce smart choices in family planning and giving births,
while
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 supporting the government’s call.
To sum up
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, unchecked
individual’s
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individual
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 rapid growth certainly causes various damaging complications, especially to the planet’s ecosystem. In my opinion,
governments
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, by executing measures and policies on controlling fertility rates,
as well as
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 individuals, by responding
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to governments
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governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
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 calls, equally play respective roles in order to conquer
this
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 serious issue.

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relevant specific examples
While your essay presents a clear position, incorporating more specific examples could further strengthen your argument. Try to include real-world instances or statistics that illustrate the effects of overpopulation and the success of family planning measures in specific countries.
clear comprehensive ideas
To enhance clarity, ensure that each main point is thoroughly unpacked with detailed explanations or evidence. Avoid generic statements and aim for specificity to make your points more impactful.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on overpopulation and proposing solutions.
logical structure
The logical structure of your paragraphs is solid, with a clear progression of ideas from the consequences of overpopulation to potential solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unsustainable levels
  • shortage of resources
  • strain
  • exponential growth
  • critical shortages
  • environmental pollution
  • climate change
  • wildlife habitats
  • economic challenges
  • unemployment rates
  • worsened poverty
  • overcrowding
  • communicable diseases
  • social unrest
  • food security
  • urban sprawl
  • family planning
  • sustainable agricultural practices
  • renewable energy
  • infant mortality rates
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