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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries.

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The graph below shows the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries.
The chart compares how much
tea
Use synonyms
 and
coffee
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 imported in four different countries
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
 Canada,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Germany
Correct word choice
and Germany
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, among all four
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 the highest
import
Use synonyms
 was in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is shown that the lowest
import
Use synonyms
 was in Canada. As it is shown in the chart, in Canada
Use synonyms
coffee
Punctuation problem
, coffee
show examples
 has shown
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
import
Use synonyms
 rate
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
39000
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
tea
Use synonyms
 was imported in much lower rate
20000
Change preposition
of 20000
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Regarding
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 US,
coffee
Use synonyms
 was imported in much higher amount 40000
tonnes
Use synonyms
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
show examples
 than
tea
Use synonyms
21000
Punctuation problem
, 21000
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Coming to
UK's
Correct article usage
the UK's
show examples
import
Use synonyms
 level,
tea
Use synonyms
 has shown the biggest index
80000
Punctuation problem
, 80000
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 30000
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 imported. As for Germany,
coffee
Use synonyms
 achieved the largest rate
50000
Change preposition
of 50000
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has indicated
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 result
40000
Change preposition
of 40000
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tea, coffee, import, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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