IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend a large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport

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Most people around the world think is essential to use the money to build high-speed Railways to have an efficient way between cities .
However
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, others believe having high-level
transport
Use synonyms
 is more important, than improving more lines, because of safety . Normally, everyone uses
transport
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 for transfer to far places or
Countryside
Correct article usage
the Countryside
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 even. Mostly Travelers and commuters need high-speed lines ,
therefore
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, which allows them to leave the driving and professional control
.
Correct your spelling
while
while
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 helping them to get some work done and get to work faster.
In addition
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, a common problem in popular cities where a large count of cars and so on exist
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is air pollution. So ,another reason to improve
transport
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 rather than build new ones is if the amount of fossil fuels used, the atmosphere would be poisonous . Safely is Chief among those who use Railways ,buses and trains. The cost of high-speed
transport
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 is expensive which will be increased in future.
On the other hand
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 , is better to improve your service of old buses rather than make new ones which
besides
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 Advantages have a lot of disadvantages too. In conclusion, public
transport
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 is all citizen's problem and a small effect on it could cause large issues. For sure, the environment is the number one important in society and
then
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 the taxes which you must pay for new builds and changes in
transport
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 are in second place .So
besides
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 safety which, comes from new services and Improvement , the efficiency of future generations is important too.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clearer and more comprehensive introduction and conclusion to enhance the overall structure. This helps in framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically into the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas further and make sure each idea is fully explored within its paragraph. This will enhance clarity and understanding for the reader.
task achievement
The essay clearly touches on both sides of the debate regarding spending on high-speed rail versus existing public transport, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts a balanced discussion, addressing several key points such as efficiency, safety, and environmental concerns related to transport.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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