Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

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Upon
graduationg
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graduating
graduation
from high
school
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, young
people
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often wonder whether they should
pursuit
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pursue
show examples
higher
education
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at universities or start working straightly. Some
people
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believe that continuing studying at a university or college can guarantee a bright future
whereas
Linking Words
others contemplate that being employed right after high
school
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is a better option. Working
straightly
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straight
show examples
after
school
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is beneficial in some ways.
Firstly
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, young
people
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can have chances to make earnings earlier. As choosing to follow higher
education
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can cost a fortune, getting a job at an early stage of life can help them have financial sustainability from a young age.
Moreover
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,
people
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who start working soon can progress rapidly in their
career
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careers
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. It is widely known that the working environment can lead to the maturity of a person. The real-life experience and skills can help them improve faster in their chosen profession.
On the other hand
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, pursuing higher
education
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is the optimal choice
of
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for
show examples
many
people
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for various reasons.
Firstly
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, a certificate
of
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from
show examples
Correct article usage
a universities
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universities
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university
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or
colleges
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college
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can provide students with opportunities to meet higher-level qualifications. Nowadays, the competition in the job market is becoming more and more fierce,
therefore
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, the more knowledge and certification young
people
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equip with themselves, the higher
opportunities
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the opportunities
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they can be hired.
Secondly
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, higher
education
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can help
people
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earn better. Jobs offering higher salaries often
requires
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require
show examples
in-depth knowledge.
As a result
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,
people
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who study
further
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in a particular major and become
a
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apply
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specialist
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specialists
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in that field have more chances to be hired for high-paid
position
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positions
show examples
.
Inconclusion
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In conclusion
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, it is evident that working right after
school
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and choosing to continue studying have their own advantages and benefits that
suits
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suit
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
need
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needs
show examples
of different
people
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.

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Task Response
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the stance without any minor errors, such as 'graduate' instead of 'graduating'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance logical flow between ideas and paragraphs by using more transitional phrases or conjunctions.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially in the discussion of immediate work after high school vs. pursuing higher education.
Task Response
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion and present balanced views of both perspectives, making the essay comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure in place with separate paragraphs discussing both views.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, contributing to its clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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