IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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One of the widely discussed ues nowadays is
increase
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an increase
the increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 population. There have a lot of meanings that it will include global crisis, perhaps there is another opinion that
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial and necessary.
However
Linking Words
, there is no absolute agreement
of
Change preposition
on
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growth
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. A commonly held belief
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 it can have
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
economical problems
an economical problem
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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 problems. As evidence of
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this
Add a comma
this,
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 they point to that if there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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 a large number of
people
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 it confidently gives a lack of money.
Furthermore
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, there
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a meaning that it can have a lack of food and water. It
explained
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is explained
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 by the
fact
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 that patterns of consumption
is
Change the verb form
are
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 extremely prowling,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will end with an acute shortage of water and
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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.
As a result
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, it leads
the
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to the
show examples
fact
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 that
people
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 are unusually scared of an
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 and they do not want it. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, some
people
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 claim that there is nothing to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fear
about
Change preposition
apply
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and that the
growth
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 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 is necessary.
In addition
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, they
explaining by
Wrong verb form
explain
show examples
 the
fact
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 of naturalness and normality of happening. Or
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 explanation of
Use synonyms
fact
Add an article
the fact
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that
Add a missing verb
is that
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on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
show examples
 the increase of
people
Use synonyms
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,
Use synonyms
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of employees.
Therefore
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, there will be more specialists that will earn money and boost the economy. In conclusion, I would argue that the
growth
Use synonyms
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 will definitely
give
Verb problem
cause
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 a great deal
problems
Change preposition
of problems
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, but that does not
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
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 that it will be forever. After a few years,
this
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 will
bear
Verb problem
be
show examples
 a success and everything will be stabilised.

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs more clearly, with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Focus on expressing ideas more clearly and directly, avoiding vague language.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize and encapsulate your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear beginning and ending.
task achievement
You have addressed both views on the topic, which demonstrates an understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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