IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have learned from a news article that a real estate company is going to build a shopping centre near your home. However, you think that the shopping centre should not be built there. Write a letter to the city counsellor. In your letter, say how you have learned about the plan explain how it is going to negatively affect the residential area where you live say what you think the city council should do about it

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my concern
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 a recent news I read
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
 about a real estate company planning to build a shopping
centre
Use synonyms
 near our residential
area
Use synonyms
. I am afraid these could negatively impact the residents and the surrounding
area
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, building a shopping
centre
Use synonyms
 near the home
area
Use synonyms
 means it would be crowded with a lot of people. There would be a noise disturbance, and
also
Linking Words
 the roads
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be quite jammed.
However
Linking Words
, my major concern is the safety of the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.They love to play on the roads here.
However
Linking Words
, the roads here are compact.
And with
Correct word choice
With
show examples
 the implementation of
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 shopping mall, there is going to be
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 flow of running motor vehicles and I am scared to death that it could put the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
 safety at stake. I
d
Correct your spelling
do
 not want to see the peaceful neighbourhood turned into chaos.
Instead
Linking Words
, Could you please suggest the real estate company to do their project somewhere else, perhaps in the main city
area
Use synonyms
? These places are usually busy and
also
Linking Words
 a
centre
Use synonyms
 location for people to commute.
These way
Change the determiner
This way
These ways
show examples
 it would come to
people
Change noun form
people's
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 attention and help gather customers to
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
a shopping
show examples
centre
Use synonyms
. I appreciate your time and I look forward to
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
 from you. Yours faithfully, Bijita
gurung
Change the capitalization
Gurung
show examples

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly separate different ideas into distinct paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Pay attention to small language inaccuracies that could slightly affect readability.
task achievement
The letter clearly addresses the city councilor and presents the issue regarding the shopping centre plan effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and closing of the letter are appropriate, showing a polite and formal tone throughout.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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