IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

"Vaping products should be toatally banned in Irealand." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Explain your answer

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Vaping products have become popular in the
last
Linking Words
 decade, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 has been a controversial discussion about whether to ban them or not. In my opinion, I think vaping, just like smoking, should be a personal choice but with some restrictions and clarifications. Vaping, with its fancy flavours and smells, spread among youths, which is in my opinion, the main reason why it should be restricted. Children and teenagers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 have not yet gained the ability to recognise the possible negative impacts of their actions, so at
this
Linking Words
 period of age, some decisions ought to be controlled by law. In my point of view vaping and any nicotine consumption
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 must be one of these actions, as they might seem like a rewarding habit in the beginning but eventually end with a struggle, minors under 21 years old should be banned from trading or using tobacco
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. Many adults utilize vaping as a way to quit smoking, but many of them are ignorant that vaping is yet not fully understood. A lot of vape chemical compounds are still unknown regarding their
health’s
Change noun form
health
show examples
 impact. So scientists are not yet fully sure whether vaping is a healthier alternative to regular smoking or not. So I would consider finding a way to educate society about the reality of what we know
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and emphasizing better ways to quit smoking via therapy or any similar ways. In conclusion, all tobacco products should be prohibited from minors under 21, and clarifications should be applied for adults who use vaping or consider
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay presents a clear position, provide more detailed, specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider linking your ideas more explicitly from one paragraph to the next, reinforcing the logical progression of arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your response includes a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
You address the prompt directly, giving your opinion and supporting it with arguments related to youths and health impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: