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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the features, and make comarisons where relevNT.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the features, and make comarisons where relevNT.
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The graph provides information about the ratio of citizens living in cities in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with forecasts for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, the flow of the
population
Use synonyms
 who lives in cities rise until 2020, and it will rise until 2040.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, at first in 1970, the lowest percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 was for Indonesia, with 40%. It went up gradually until 2020, and it
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 predicted to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
60% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in 2040. Thailand
overall
Linking Words
 had the same situation
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 Indonesia. The proportion of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia
rise
Change the verb form
rises
show examples
 significantly from 1970 to 2020. It had the highest percentage of the total
population
Use synonyms
 among other countries in 2020.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it will be likely to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
80% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in 2040.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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