IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is now possible to order almost any item over the internet and have it delivered to one's home. As a result people are no longer patient or careful in their shopping habits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 can buy the things they need from the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and the items will be delivered to their houses. It is often viewed that
this
Linking Words
 culture leads to impatience and clumsiness.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on the reasons. Online shopping takes more time rather than going to
physical
Add an article
a physical
the physical
show examples
 store. It
needs
Verb problem
takes
show examples
 a longer time to do delivery services which usually takes more than a day. Because of the long process, it trains
shopper
Fix the agreement mistake
shoppers
show examples
 to be patient as it needs time for the delivery.
In contrast
Linking Words
, purchasing things offline by going to the mall tends to be a short activity.
People
Use synonyms
 only have to enter the shop, pick up their needs, and directly pay for their belongings at the cashier.
Hence
Linking Words
 why, the
people
Use synonyms
 who purchase things online may have more patience as they have to wait longer for their packages
arrive
Fix the infinitive
to arrive
show examples
 at their homes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the wide variety provided by digital stores
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 confused and it forces them to be careful. There are many price options and qualities for the same product. If the shoppers are
unware
Correct your spelling
unaware
show examples
 of the product, they will get disappointed as it does not match their
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
. To illustrate, there are many Nike being advertised on the web, and if they do not pay attention when examining the product, they will get swindled by
a fake Nike shoes
Correct the article-noun agreement
fake Nike shoes
a fake Nike shoe
show examples
, which cost them a lot of money. In conclusion, not only online shopping can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to be more
patience
Replace the word
patient
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, but
also
Linking Words
 cautious.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 remain fully convinced that purchasing items on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 become patient and cautious.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical progression by linking ideas more clearly from one paragraph to the next. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your main points.
task achievement
Some arguments need further elaboration. For example, explain how online shopping requires patience more deeply, perhaps with an example comparing delivery times to on-the-spot buying.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion, which clearly present your viewpoint.
task achievement
Your use of a relevant example, such as the Nike shoes scenario, effectively supports your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • online shopping
  • delivery
  • patience
  • carefulness
  • shopping habits
  • value
  • individual
  • preferences
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