IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the government should provide a free education at every level . However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education.

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In recent years, there has been a tremendous increase in the number of individuals questioning about cost of
education
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, there are those who believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should pay for their tertiary
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,critics,including myself,strongly oppose
this
Linking Words
 view and
instead
Linking Words
 believe that authorities should provide free institutions for every level of
education
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
there is a point to be made that universities
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 considerable amounts in order to provide facilities that may contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student progress.
For example
Linking Words
,
king
Capitalize word
King
show examples
 Abdulaziz University provides
library
Add an article
a library
show examples
 that contains manifold books and computers which can assist
students
Use synonyms
 in their deepest understanding .
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, it is evident that pupils should pay their own funds to institutions, so they will
be acquired
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
 better knowledge from
high
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
standards
Fix the agreement mistake
standard
show examples
 materials.
Moreover
Linking Words
, learners will
be learned
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 how to manage their
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
,which can lead to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 their future,
therefore
Linking Words
 they will be able to manage their future incomes .
This
Linking Words
 being the case, if
students
Use synonyms
 paid to academies, they would improve their educational skills and career skills.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it must
be state
Change the verb form
be stated
show examples
 there are many
students
Use synonyms
suffer
Correct pronoun usage
who suffer
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 from poverty, they can not compete
their
Change preposition
with their
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high
Correct word choice
higher
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education
Use synonyms
 in order to contribute a significant rule in society.
For instance
Linking Words
, Dr. Assad Almutaua graduated from government university and now he helps the country and dwellers.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 government provides safer
education
Use synonyms
 journeys , and helps
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means without
assistance
Correct article usage
the assistance
show examples
 of government the most scientists, artists , and physicians would not exist today .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, expenditure on the right places
such
Linking Words
 as
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 ensures that
administrations
Change the noun form
administration
show examples
 funds go to the place which generates revenue in the future .
Otherwise
Linking Words
, it would simply be impossible for some intelligent
students
Use synonyms
 to afford a considerable
amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
amount
show examples
 of money. Within
this
Linking Words
 mind ,if leaders did not provide free
education
Use synonyms
 institutions ,
students
Use synonyms
Wo
Verb problem
Would
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 have been illiterate.
To conclude
Linking Words
, whilst some feel that
education
Use synonyms
 charges on
students
Use synonyms
, others, myself included, firmly believe
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 opposite. From my perspective, councils have provided free
education
Use synonyms
 in order to assist incapable
students
Use synonyms
 and graduated a large number of pupils with high qualifications
those
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
 of
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas within the paragraphs are well-linked to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors and sentence structure as these can affect the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support your main points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve as good markers for your essay.
task achievement
You've touched upon both sides of the argument, showing a balanced consideration of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • financial barriers
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • socio-economic inequality
  • personal investment
  • economic burden
  • diverse academic environment
  • student debt crisis
  • academic prestige
  • national innovation
  • balanced approach
  • subsidized education
  • scholarships and grants
  • personal responsibility
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