IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that is is the responsibility of people to take care about the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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Enviornmental
Correct your spelling
Environmental
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 relies on the
government
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others advocate for our direct impact on it as a whole, individually our actions take part
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it and have consequences upon it. It is my opinion that
while
Linking Words
 our personal actions certainly have an impact on the planet, it is ultimately the
government
Use synonyms
's
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to protect and regulate the laws that prevent the degradation of it. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will try to illustrate it with examples.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Use synonyms
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, we personally can direct our efforts towards more safe and secure ways to
dispose
Add the preposition
dispose of
show examples
 our waste,
reciclying
Correct your spelling
recycling
 and everything involved that would represent a positive style of living that permits us to coexist with nature.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other hand, we find certain persons
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have access to more resources and that can contaminate just as much as an entire group of
people
Use synonyms
 would do.
One
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 example is the contaminating gases that a car expels by burning fuel, reducing our daily
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of it will drop the
anual
Correct your spelling
annual
 artificial production of CO2,
that is
Linking Words
 a fact, but when it comes to the
super rich
Add a hyphen
super-rich
show examples
 that would not give up the opportunity to travel by jet if more time is available for them,
then
Linking Words
 the fantasy of an individual person contributing to the environment fades given that
while
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 is trying to eliminate their own emissions of carbon, the other
one
Use synonyms
 is probably triplicating his own carbon footprint by trivial actions that are only
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 because of his privileges.
Second,
Linking Words
the
government
Use synonyms
 has the power over
people
Use synonyms
's decisions and
thus
Linking Words
 the legislation of laws that protect nature is a clear path towards a better future. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was exemplified in the previous paragraph, the only regulatory body that has the right to sanction unethical
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 stems from the
government
Use synonyms
 through
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own internal branches.
That is
Linking Words
 to say,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
 could and should be obliged to push an agenda that protects the popular interest,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the day they are the representatives of the common
people
Use synonyms
. It's worth noticing that a healthy environment is pursued by most
people
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
 it's a popular interest. We all have the duty to protect the environment,
that is
Linking Words
 absolutely true, but
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 way to express ourselves is by the elected governors that should lean to the wellbeing of society as a whole, not the greed of multinational companies that pursue monetary profits that could cause negative repercussions on the earth.

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch minor spelling errors such as 'responsability' and 'reciclying'.
task achievement
Provide more balanced arguments for each perspective to enhance the depth and clarity of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Consider connecting your examples more directly to the argument to enhance coherence and support.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly indicates your position and sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the discussion topic and provided an opinion, which is required for this task.
coherence cohesion
The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different points of discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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