Zoos are seen as important institutions for the conservation of wildlife and for educating the public about animals. Do you think it is important for children to visit zoos? Do you think children should learn about animals through zoos rather than other sources such as documentaries or books?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, with modern life, wildlife is far from our daily routine. So
that is
Linking Words
why, If we want to know about wild conditions, we have to read newspapers about it or prefer to go to zoos. Some people discuss
about
Change preposition
whether
show examples
is it important for education and children's cognitive skills.
Also
Linking Words
, they ask about do families prefer to go to the Zoo or
books
Change preposition
to books
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will try to explain these two ideas.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people prefer to live in urban areas rather than
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. So, they are far away
natural
Change preposition
from natural
show examples
habitats. Especially,
they
Correct word choice
since they
show examples
can never see any
animals
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, their child can see only dogs and cats. If governments give permission. Because some countries still have some prohibitions about
animals
Use synonyms
let it go. In these conditions, younger societies do not know anything about
animals
Use synonyms
. They grow up with no touch. If we want to improve their self-determination, their parents have to do something like show mammals lifestyle. So they go to the Zoo. I think these types of places are not good ways to learn something. Because these areas are prisons for living beings. I directly refuse
this
Linking Words
type of education.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some families prefer to visit the library for books. They think
that is
Linking Words
the best way. Reading can help people to show realities about the world.
Also
Linking Words
, documentaries can be useful.
For instance
Linking Words
, Netflix and some YouTube channels are meaningful. If teenagers grow up with these, they can feel full of responsibilities in the world.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is
easily
Change the adverb
easy
show examples
method rather than the first one.
However
Linking Words
, of course, visiting Zoos has a significant effect on primary schoolers. Whether my opinion or second claim is more logical. We do not have to build prisons for
animals
Use synonyms
. They should be free in their habitat. In conclusion, somebodies wrote good material or did good works. Just use it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on providing more cohesive links between paragraphs and ideas, to enhance the overall flow and connectivity of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with detailed explanations and examples to substantially support your arguments.
task achievement
Try to clarify some of your sentences to ensure that your ideas are articulated clearly, avoiding any possible confusion for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.
task achievement
You raise interesting points about the disadvantages of zoos and provide alternative approaches, showing a balanced view.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: