Zoos are seen as important institutions for the conservation of wildlife and for educating the public about animals. Do you think it is important for children to visit zoos? Do you think children should learn about animals through zoos rather than other sources such as documentaries or books?

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Nowadays, with modern life, wildlife is far from our daily routine. So

that is

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why, If we want to know about wild conditions, we have to read newspapers about it or prefer to go to zoos. Some people discuss

about

Change preposition

whether

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is it important for education and children's cognitive skills.

Also

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, they ask about do families prefer to go to the Zoo or

books

Change preposition

to books

show examples

. In

this

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essay, I will try to explain these two ideas.

Firstly

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, people prefer to live in urban areas rather than

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

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. So, they are far away

natural

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from natural

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habitats. Especially,

they

Correct word choice

since they

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can never see any

animals

Use synonyms

Also

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, their child can see only dogs and cats. If governments give permission. Because some countries still have some prohibitions about

animals

Use synonyms

let it go. In these conditions, younger societies do not know anything about

animals

Use synonyms

. They grow up with no touch. If we want to improve their self-determination, their parents have to do something like show mammals lifestyle. So they go to the Zoo. I think these types of places are not good ways to learn something. Because these areas are prisons for living beings. I directly refuse

this

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type of education.

Secondly

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, some families prefer to visit the library for books. They think

that is

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the best way. Reading can help people to show realities about the world.

Also

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, documentaries can be useful.

For instance

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, Netflix and some YouTube channels are meaningful. If teenagers grow up with these, they can feel full of responsibilities in the world.

Also

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this

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easily

Change the adverb

easy

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method rather than the first one.

However

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, of course, visiting Zoos has a significant effect on primary schoolers. Whether my opinion or second claim is more logical. We do not have to build prisons for

animals

Use synonyms

. They should be free in their habitat. In conclusion, somebodies wrote good material or did good works. Just use it.

ecem.tekbenWed Jan 29 2025

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coherence cohesion

Work on providing more cohesive links between paragraphs and ideas, to enhance the overall flow and connectivity of your essay.

task achievement

Develop your main points more fully with detailed explanations and examples to substantially support your arguments.

task achievement

Try to clarify some of your sentences to ensure that your ideas are articulated clearly, avoiding any possible confusion for the reader.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.

task achievement

You raise interesting points about the disadvantages of zoos and provide alternative approaches, showing a balanced view.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Zoos are seen as important institutions for the conservation of wildlife and for educating the public about animals. Do you think it is important for children to visit zoos? Do you think children should learn about animals through zoos rather than other sources such as documentaries or books?

Some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn, so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn.

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Some people think that giving aids to the poor countries has more negative impacts than positive ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?