IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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It is a common belief that some individuals have inborn talents,
such
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 as
sports
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 or
music
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, and in some
cases
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cases,
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 others do not.
However
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, sometimes it is claimed that any
child
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 can be a good
sportsperson
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 or a musician if they are taught. Even though an innate
talent
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 helps a person to shine in that particular field, I personally believe that it is possible for any
child
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 to
show
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 growth in a specific sector, if they are taught in an
apropriate
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appropriate
 manner. Who knows? Maybe It is possible for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
show
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 of hard
work
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 to grow into many achievements. People, who are talented by birth can easily excel in these
fields
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 like vocal and instrumental , including physical
activites
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activities
activity
 like
sports
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. They do not need to invest much time, effort and dedication to achieve success in those
fields
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 because they are talented by birth.
Moreover
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, in some
cases
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cases,
show examples
 it takes a bit of stimulation for one to be aware of these inborn talents.
As a result
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, if they manage to find the spark within them, they can effortlessly engage in those
fields
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 and become
succefsul
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successful
.
For example
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, a famous singer Billi Carlton,
had
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apply
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said in
interview
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an interview
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 that he is not required to practice much and
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show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 mountains of effort to become a singer,
this
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 is because he believes that he has an inborn singing
talent
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.
However
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, I assert that anyone can become a talented singer or
sportsperson
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 if they practice hard to achieve
there
Replace the word
their
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 goal. If a
child
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 can be taught
music
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 or
sports
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, they can easily shine in those sectors because hard
work
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 can achieve anything. If a
child
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 receives proper teaching and nurturing to learn
music
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 or any kind of
sports
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, they will be excelled in those
fields
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.
For example
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, a famous Bangladeshi cricket player Mushfique Rahim said that he never had an inborn
talent
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of
Change preposition
for
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 playing cricket,
however
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, only his hard
work
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 and perseverance have assisted him to become a cricket player.
Therefore
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, I think that anyone can become a good
sportsperson
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 or musician if they
show
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 dedication and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
perseverance. In conclusion, I personally think that
although
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 inborn
talent
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 allows a person to become a good
sportsperson
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 or musician easily
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if someone can be taught
music
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 and
sports
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, they definitely will succeed because hard
work
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 and dedication can help to attain success.

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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses both views in a balanced manner. There was more emphasis on supporting non-innate talent. Balance the arguments equally to strengthen your task response score.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your views. For instance, adding details about how specific training programs have helped children excel could improve this.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for better flow between points. Using linking words like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' can help achieve this.
introduction conclusion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively present and summarize the opinion on the topic.
logical structure
It logically addresses the debate between innate talent and learned skills, presenting clear arguments for both sides.
supported main points
Examples from real life, such as Billie Carlton and Mushfique Rahim, are used to illustrate points, which adds depth to the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
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