IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The only way to improve safety on our road is to give stricter punishments to driving offenses. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

The
Correct article usage
Road
show examples
road
Use synonyms
 safety has become an indispensable issue. Many ways are already taken to improve it,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 we still can find the driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 that giving a stricter
punishmenat
Correct your spelling
punishment
 will be one of the
Use synonyms
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to reduce these offenses.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is not the only
way
Use synonyms
 to do so, there are some
approach
Change the form of the verb
approaches
show examples
 that
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can act.
This
Linking Words
 writing will explore how the higher punishment will work
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and we
also
Linking Words
 will highlight why
this
Linking Words
 is not the
solely
Change the word
sole
show examples
way
Use synonyms
. Stricter sanctions in navigating violence
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
possibly force people to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
compliant driving behaviour.
For instance
Linking Words
, applying
high cost
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 high speed
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in a school area
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will lead
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 to think twice
to do
Change preposition
about doing
show examples
 it. It is
physologically
Correct your spelling
physiologically
psychologically
 that
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 often avoid
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 a huge cost. So that, they will automatically try to lower their velocity
while
Linking Words
 passing by its
road
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 the safety of the students will likely
higher
Add a missing verb
be higher
show examples
 than before.
Although
Linking Words
, its cost will restrict people
to comply
Change preposition
from complying
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the rule,
however
Linking Words
, in some circumstances they will just leave it
due to
Linking Words
 they have enough money to bear it. Even for some generations, it seems to have their
way
Use synonyms
to show
Change preposition
of showing
show examples
 off their power of money. They will easily do it without any concerns since they want the community
seeing
Change the verb form
to see
show examples
 it as a
previledge
Correct your spelling
privilege
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
self-awareness
Correct article usage
the self-awareness
show examples
 of each individual must be formed before they get the license. It could be attained from the particular trainings or workshops.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
nonetheless
Add a comma
nonetheless,
show examples
 the penalty takes a good role in the
road
Use synonyms
 rule of thumb, the other supporting methods should be applied
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it to create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 holistic
compliant
Correct your spelling
complaint
show examples
 on the
road
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure to better connect ideas. Aim for seamless transitions between arguments and examples.
task achievement
Provide more comprehensive ideas with relevant and specific examples to fully support your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Focus on grammar and spelling accuracy to improve clarity, though minor errors are acceptable to some extent.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic and provides a clear position.
supported main points
Main points are present and generally supported with examples.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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