IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public heath, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Over the
pas
Correct your spelling
past
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 few years, smoking has caused lethal impacts and
health
Use synonyms
 diseases. There is an argument that the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
tobacco
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 products should be prohibited by authorities. In my way of thinking,
this
Linking Words
 statement is worth believing for reasons
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss
further
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.
To begin
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 with, over the
last
Linking Words
 two decades, a vast amount of studies have emphasized that smoking
cigarettes
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 can lead to fatal
health
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 illnesses .
Similarly
Linking Words
, plenty of studies have shown that using any kind of
tobacco
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 consists of about 14000 carcinogenic particles which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 considerably myriad.
Therefore
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,
Health
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 conditions
such
Linking Words
 as cardiovascular diseases, digestive problems, and cancer are just
a
Correct article usage
the
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 tip of the iceberg in terms of issues which stem from
tobacco
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 consumption. GERD syndrome is a good example of
this
Linking Words
 statement, in
this
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 condition patient suffers from acid reflux which is far worse when the patient smokes
cigarettes
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. So, preventing the patient from smoking is the first thing in his/her treatment plan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, over the past few years, statistics have shown a significant growth in
tobacco
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usage
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. So , it can get out of hand if authorities do not take action . The reason I think governments are the best option for managing
this
Linking Words
 problem is because of their power and money.
For instance
Linking Words
, supremacies can obligate authorities to enact new policies against
tobacco
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usage
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 .
Therefore
Linking Words
, day by day by narrowing down the allowance of smoking and more uptight rules, stopping smoking
cigarettes
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 completely is achievable. Another suggestion is that they can start by dedicating immense tasks to
cigarettes
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 so fewer people can afford to smoke.
To sum up
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, any kind of
tobacco
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 production is just a harmful substance to human
health
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 and in my opinion, governments are the only hope to tackle
this
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 problem.The sooner they ban smoking, The
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
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 we can see fatalities
due to
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 the detrimental effects of
tobacco
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usage
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.

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task achievement
The essay covers the main points but could use more specific examples to support the argument. Try including statistics, studies, or anecdotes to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are clear, but some transition words could be improved for smoother flow. Consider using more varied linking phrases to enhance cohesion.
general
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct. A minor touch-up with sentence structures and vocabulary would improve clarity.
general
Avoid minor inaccuracies in spelling and punctuation, such as 'pas' instead of 'past', or ensure proper spacing after commas.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating the writer's viewpoint.
logical structure
The essay is generally well-organized, with ideas presented logically across paragraphs.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion powerfully reinforces the main argument, summarizing the essay effectively.
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