IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has become a big part of life today. Some people think it is fantastic and a huge help. Others believe it has caused some problems. Outline the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

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The
internet
Use synonyms
 has changed our world. Some
people
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 say it ruined
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society,
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
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 others say it has fixed it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the advantages and the disadvantages of the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. The
internet
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 plays a huge part in our daily life.
First,
Linking Words
it is one of the best communication methods as it's free and fast.The
internet
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 gives the ability to call anybody from anywhere at any time with the pressure of two buttons.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it is
charge free
Add a hyphen
charge-free
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 as you just need a router for it and an
internet
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 connection
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 be easily found in a coffee shop.The
internet
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 is the most common way
people
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 communicate because it's available for everyone to reach.Second,the
internet
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 has a
lot
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 of libraries which contain
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 and benefits for the community.The information on the
internet
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 is easy to get to because of how the
internet
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 works.The
internet
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 is the house of a
lot
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 of libraries which
has is
Wrong verb form
are
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 totally free.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it has many free courses in different fields and is actually somewhere useful.The
internet
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 offers a free education for the community.Third,The
internet
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 is a great
place
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 to have fun as it has movies and reels and
youtube
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YouTube
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shourts
Correct your spelling
shows
.The enjoyment a man can get from the
internet
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 is
undiscurayable
Correct your spelling
undisplayable
. The entertainment that the
internet
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 offers are really good since it's free. The
internet
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 represents a great risk to our society.
Firset
Correct your spelling
First
,it is taking mankind time and making them lazy.
People
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 spend all day long sitting and playing with their phones
while
Linking Words
 they are supposed to be doing anything else .Workers are using the
internet
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 to have fun in the work hours.The way
people
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 are
stock
Correct your spelling
stuck
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 on the
internet
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 is fishy.
Second,
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it is a
place
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of
Change preposition
for
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 criminals because it is not under
the
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apply
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government control .It
contain
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contains
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 an unreasonable number of child predators.The
internet
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 is the
place
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 where criminals make deals
of
Change preposition
with
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 weed and drugs. It is an unsafe
place
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 for anyone, especially kids.Third,it has a
lot
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 of fake information because
people
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 love drama.There is a
lot
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 of fake information about health that
people
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 believe
and
Change preposition
in and
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 its dangers
such
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 as suking the snake bait .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the death news and
end
Correct article usage
the end
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 of the world make
people
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 uncomfortable. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 I see that the inter has a
lot
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 of advantages and disadvantages but the disadvantages clearly win by a huge
diffrent
Correct your spelling
difference
different
. ‫

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introduction conclusion present
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion. However, you can strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points more specifically and clearly stating your position.
logical structure
Try to improve logical sequencing. The essay shifts from one idea to another without clear transitions, making it hard to follow at times. Use transition words or phrases to link ideas smoothly.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph connects back to your main thesis. Some points in your essay are interesting, but they aren't always tied back to the main argument as clearly as they could be.
complete response
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, but it could expand more on these points to provide a fuller response to the task. It would help to elaborate more to demonstrate a thorough understanding.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on developing more clear and comprehensive ideas. Some paragraphs mix different ideas together, which makes it hard for the reader to identify distinct points. Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of the internet, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to structure the discussion with distinct sections for advantages and disadvantages, which makes the general flow easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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