New technology have changed the way children free time do you think the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage

With the enhancement in technology, the way of people

live

Change the verb form

lives

show examples

change

Wrong verb form

changed

show examples

significantly. in the past decades,

children

Use synonyms

spent their Leisure

Time

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing with their friends;

however

Linking Words

, nowadays they spend on video games and cell phones.

this

Linking Words

essay will explain the disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

Revolution

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more than its advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, offsprings

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

less interest to do any physical activities because they like to spend their

time

Use synonyms

with technology,

such

Linking Words

as mobiles, laptops and digital games.

consequently

Linking Words

, it has a negative impact on their physical health.

For example

Linking Words

, a recent survey conducted in India shows that the cases of obesity

inclined

Verb problem

increased

show examples

dramatically in juveniles. the main cause found during

survey

Add an article

the survey

show examples

is less physical

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time

Use synonyms

on screen are easy to put some adverse health problems

such

Linking Words

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

blindness, weak eyesight and some mental issues. using a cell phone for a long

time

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

one of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

that

children

Use synonyms

prefer to live alone. They do not like to communicate with others,

due to

Linking Words

which they face

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

to talk

Change the verb form

talking

show examples

in the later phase of Life at work.

However

Linking Words

, every coin has two sides; so

this

Linking Words

trend has some

benefit

Fix the agreement mistake

benefits

show examples

also

Linking Words

. the main advantage of

this

Linking Words

is it

develop

Change the verb form

develops

show examples

cognitive skills in youngsters,

such

Linking Words

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

use

critical

Change preposition

of critical

show examples

thinking, Focus,

well-planned

Correct word choice

and well-planned

show examples

ideas to play any game. by which they are more confident to handle any situation.

To conclude

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

I nodoubt

show examples

nodoubt

Correct your spelling

doubt

there is a bundle of the worst effects of Taco Bell on

children

Use synonyms

but they can take advantage of these items to develop their

soft-skills

Correct your spelling

soft skills

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they use these gadgets for

limited

Add an article

a limited

show examples

time

Use synonyms

sukhjinderkaur6283

Jan 30, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Ensure consistency in subject-verb agreements and tense usage. For instance, 'with the enhancement in technology, the way of people live change significantly' should be 'with the enhancement in technology, the way people live has changed significantly.'

task response

The essay should address both advantages and disadvantages with a balanced approach. This would show a more well-rounded understanding of the topic.

coherence

Make use of linking words and phrases to ensure seamless flow and connectivity between ideas and paragraphs.

task response

The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, addressing both advantages and disadvantages.

structure

A structured introduction and conclusion are evident, allowing for clarity in the overall argument.

examples

The essay provides specific examples, such as the survey conducted in India, to support arguments, enhancing its relevance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

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Some people believe that the best way to teach children to behave well is through punishment, others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Students should pay the full cost for their study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience to support your arguments

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.