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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the water use in gulf countries in 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the water use in gulf countries in 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the
proporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
water
Use synonyms
 use in different categories namely domestic, agricultural ,and industrial in
gulf
Capitalize word
Gulf
show examples
 countries in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the most used of
water
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in agriculture in
Oman
Use synonyms
 and Saudi Arabia ,
whereas
Linking Words
 industrial was the lowest used of
water
Use synonyms
 in all countries.
To begin
Linking Words
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Oman
Use synonyms
 and Saudi Arabia almost
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of used
water
Use synonyms
stood
Verb problem
apply
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at approach 80% and 81% respectively. The most interesting noticeable
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 UAE and Qatar
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the same
Use synonyms
amount
Change the noun form
amounts
show examples
 of
consume
Verb problem
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 at approximately 62%.
According to
Linking Words
 the domestic was the second
consume
Replace the word
consumer
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 and the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 was in Kuwait around 62% and the next one was
Baharin
Correct your spelling
Bahrain
 at 45%. Industrial
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 in all countries starting with
Oman
Use synonyms
 and Saudi Arabia were the lowest in using
water
Use synonyms
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
show examples
 1% . Qatar and
Oman
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
used
show examples
 the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 approximately 3%

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, oman, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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