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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Aisu

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Aisu
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The graph illustrates data
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the demographics in four Asian republics living in towns between 1970-
2020
Correct word choice
and 2020
show examples
 , with
forecasting
Replace the word
forecasts
show examples
 for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all four countries (
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, Philippines,Thailand,
Indonesia
Correct word choice
and Indonesia
show examples
) experienced an upward trend in urban population over the period.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Indonesia had the lowest. Future projections indicate that
this
Linking Words
 growth will continue, with
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and the Philippines showing the most significant increases. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Philipiness
Correct your spelling
Philippines
 the population was 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1970 and
then
Linking Words
 the number grew slightly up to 34
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980 , it increased rapidly
under
Change preposition
to under
show examples
 50% in 1990 but
then
Linking Words
 it decreased to approximately 39% in 2010. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 is expected to rise , reaching 50% in 2030 and approximately 65% in 2040. In
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Add a comma
Malaysia,
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 It was 30% in 1970 and increased
under
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apply
show examples
to 60% in 2000 years.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 increased rapidly approximately to 75% in 2020. It is predicted to start going up to 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2030 and
then
Linking Words
 go up to 85% in 2040. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of population in Thailand was below 20% in 1970 and moved upward to 30% in 1990 , and it was nearly 33% in 2020.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is forecasted to experience an
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in 2030
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
little less than 40%,
then
Linking Words
 it will
improved
Change the verb form
improve
be improved
show examples
 to nearly 45% in 2040. In
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of inhabitants was around 13% in 1970 and leaped to roughly 28% in 1990. It increased gradually up to 50% in 2020. In 2030 it is anticipated to grow up to 60% and improve
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
64% in 2040.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "improved" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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