IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars and motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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To improve the safety of roads some suggested that The Constitution require changing the minimum legal
age
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 of the driver to get a license. I do agree with the statement,
however
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, the law needs to alter some regulations to ensure the safety of the
people
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while
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 driving.
Firstly
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, the young generation has
becom
Correct your spelling
become
 very careless when it comes to driving these days. The reason behind
this
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, they might lack in sense of responsibility which results in mishaps.
Due to
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 lack of skills in driving they are not able to tackle difficult situations
while
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 driving.
Hence
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, the consequences of their actions would affect other
people
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 on the
road
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.
In addition
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, intake of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
toxic substances
such
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 as alcohol, and drugs leads to rash driving because
according to
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 them it is a way of flexing in front of their peers. They are not in the state of mind to understand the importance of following the rules which are implemented to keep the public safe from
such
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 accidents.
For instance
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, a
19 year old
Add a hyphen
19-year-old
show examples
 was driving a truck and was overspeeding on the highway.
While
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 driving he was using his mobile phone
due to
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 which he lost his sight from the
road
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 for a second and he hit a car in front of his truck and 3
people
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 died on the spot. If the minimum
age
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 for driving a truck is above 25 years
might be
Verb problem
,
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 these types of accidents could not happen because
at
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, at
show examples
 the
age
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 of 25, a person is mature enough to understand the importance of life.
Furthermore
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, the government should bring some awareness seminars which focus on the driving skills of the driver to become a perfect driver without any flaws. They should change the minimum
age
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 of fully licensed drivers to different perimeters
such
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 as, in the
beginning
Add the comma(s)
beginning,
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 youth should be allowed to drive
along with
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a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 company of an elder to ensure the person is driving properly. If they get any tickets
instead
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 of implementing penalties, their license shall be cancelled and they have to apply for their license again with proper driving classes and a certificate which ensures that they are eligible to drive on the
road
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 again.
To conclude
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, the reformation of the driving rules in case of
age
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 minimum
age
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 limit may bring some relief to the
people
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 on the
road
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 and those workers who work on the roads.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay should include a clearer structure in terms of paragraphs. Currently, the ideas are presented but could be organized more logically, with each main point having a dedicated paragraph.
Task Achievement
Consider revising some sentences for clarity and to avoid grammatical mistakes. This will make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
Task Achievement
While you have included an example, providing more varied and specific examples could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction is clear, and you have reiterated your opinion effectively in the conclusion, which supports a strong overall structure.
Task Achievement
The essay contains an example that illustrates the point about the dangers faced by younger drivers, which is effective.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • road safety
  • minimum legal age
  • responsibility
  • maturity
  • traffic incidents
  • accident rates
  • preventive measures
  • enforcement
  • driver-assist systems
  • discrimination
  • independence
  • mobility
  • feasibility
  • risk assessment
  • defensive driving
  • statutory regulations
  • penalties
  • driver education
  • public transport infrastructure
  • graduated licensing system
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