The increase use of mobile phone and computers makes people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Opinions appear regarding
people
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lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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the
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their
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communicating
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communication
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skill
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skills
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with
others
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once the usage of
technology's
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technology
show examples
gadget
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gadgets
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risen
Wrong verb form
rises
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
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notion as it can lead the negative impacts
such
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as addictive behaviour and
Correct article usage
the theif's
show examples
theif's
Correct your spelling
thief's
case.
Firstly
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, globalisation in
this
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world affects
people
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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entirely including how we interact with
others
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.
People
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do not realise
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the negative effects of technology when using it constantly.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology companies produce applications
such
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as
Tiktok
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TikTok
show examples
to get many followers and keep it as long as possible. The
algoritm
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algorithm
of that adress the addictive feeling for users and
provide
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provides
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the things that
people
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only desire
about
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apply
show examples
.
Consequently
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, if
people
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use it
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
that would increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
selfishness
feeling
Verb problem
apply
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and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not care
circumambulation
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about circumambulation
show examples
around.
Moreover
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, when we talk using
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
show examples
phone
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phones
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, we do not really know about the
exspressions
Correct your spelling
expressions
expression
of our opposites. They might say
a good things
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good things
a good thing
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with bad intentions which no one
know
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knows
show examples
.
For example
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, many
theifs
Correct your spelling
thieves
pretend
as
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to
show examples
the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
family to get
empaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
empty
, using online conversation by phone to make a call and share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sad stories that purpose to get their money. It could be worse if it happen to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
naive's
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naive
show examples
people
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who often
using
Wrong verb form
use
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online media and rarely communicate with
others
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offline. They could believe of
theif's
Correct your spelling
thief's
stories and
expense
Verb problem
spend
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their money
delibaretely
Correct your spelling
deliberately
. With the massive
grow
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growth
show examples
of online media's utilisation,
people
Use synonyms
potentially would
left
Change the verb form
leave
show examples
their conversations with
others
Use synonyms
in
real
Add an article
the real
show examples
world. I completely agree with
this
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notion as it can lead the negative impacts
such
Linking Words
as addictive behaviour and
theif
Correct your spelling
thief
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
.

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task achievement
Work on clarifying and organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has one central idea that is fully developed and supported.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for better logical flow. Ensure each point naturally leads to the next, creating a cohesive argument throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion to make clear connections between your main points. Aim for a strong sense of closure by summarizing key insights.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted the real-world impacts that increased screen time could have on face-to-face communication skills.
task achievement
Your focus on modern technological trends is timely and relevant, demonstrating a keen awareness of contemporary issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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