The proportion of elderly people in society is increasing, resulting in a greater need for healthcare services and social support. Some people believe that this development has positive effects on society, while others argue that it creates more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

8.0 / 9

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Introduction

Whether an ageing

population

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is beneficial remains a subject of considerable debate.

While

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some

people

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believe that older citizens make valuable contributions to society, others argue that their increasing need for healthcare creates financial pressure.

This

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essay will examine both perspectives before explaining why I believe the benefits can outweigh the disadvantages with proper planning.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, older

people

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can support families and create

employment

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opportunities.

This

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is because a growing elderly

population

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increases the demand for nurses, carers and social workers.

For example

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, in Australia, aged-care facilities need more staff to help older residents with daily activities and medical needs. These jobs provide income for workers, support local businesses and ensure that elderly

people

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receive appropriate care. In turn, society benefits from both

employment

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and improved services.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, an ageing

population

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can place a heavy burden on public finances. As

people

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live longer, governments may need to spend more on pensions, hospital treatment and long-term care,

while

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a smaller proportion of workers may contribute taxes.

For instance

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, Australia must fund aged-care services

while

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maintaining hospitals and other essential public services.

However

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, investing in preventive healthcare and home-based support can reduce avoidable hospital visits and help control long-term costs.

This

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means careful planning can reduce financial pressure without neglecting older citizens.

Conclusion

In conclusion, an ageing

population

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creates both

employment

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opportunities and financial challenges. I believe the benefits can outweigh the costs if governments plan effectively, because older

people

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receive better care

while

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healthcare

employment

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supports the wider economy.

chakrawartynirab

Oct 18, 2026

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Task response

You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, say more about how older people help society, such as caring for children, sharing work skills, or helping in the local area.

Task response

Your main view is clear, but it depends on good planning. Explain more clearly what this planning is, for example more home care, health checks, and help for family carers.

Task response

Your Australia example fits the topic, but it is quite general. Add one more clear, real-life example to show the benefits or costs in more detail.

Coherence and cohesion

Your essay is easy to follow. Each paragraph has one main point, and the order of ideas is clear.

Coherence and cohesion

The links between ideas are good. However, do not use "For example" and "For instance" in the same way too often. You can sometimes link ideas by saying why the point matters instead.

Coherence and cohesion

The final paragraph gives your view again. It could be even stronger if it also briefly names the two sides: jobs and support on one side, and public cost on the other.

Task response

You answer every part of the question: you show the good side, the bad side, and your own view.

Task response

Your ideas stay on the topic, especially the points about care jobs, public money, and help at home.

Coherence and cohesion

The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the ending clearly brings the main ideas together.

Coherence and cohesion

Words such as "On the one hand", "On the other hand", "For example", and "In conclusion" help the reader move through your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
elderly citizens
life expectancy
healthcare services
social support
public healthcare system
rising medical costs
pressure on public finances
pension system
working-age population
tax revenue
care homes
long-term care
unpaid childcare
family caregivers
valuable life experience
community volunteering
active ageing
retirement age
pension reform

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