IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say a person’s success in adult life is the result of the way they were brought up as a child by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that these days
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a
parents
Use synonyms
 have been playing a significant role in a child's life. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
praising children play in
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 success in
future
Use synonyms
. In
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 I am going to discuss
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
 of all, the
parents
Use synonyms
 provide their children
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
invironment
Correct your spelling
environment
. To explain, a place where children live in
couses
Correct your spelling
houses
causes
 a success today. The family always support and
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 their sons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
rech
Correct your spelling
reach
 their
aim
Fix the agreement mistake
aims
show examples
 and become
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
successful.
For example
Linking Words
, in Oman, there are a number of famous
businesses
Change the noun form
business
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who help their families to achieve their goals.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
parents
Use synonyms
 have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on child
Correct your spelling
behaviours
behaviars
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 in
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 relation
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 brought up and
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 success. To clarify, a number of business
people
Use synonyms
 in the have
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest companies who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
orphon
Correct your spelling
orphan
 both
parents
Use synonyms
.
That's
Unnecessary verb
That
show examples
mean
Replace the word
means
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 past life with family
don't
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
future
Use synonyms
, but it was
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good motivation.
For instance
Linking Words
, Khalid Ali was
fathorless
Correct your spelling
fatherless
fathomless
 and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 homeless today become a famous doctor in India.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
parents
Use synonyms
 don't have
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 babies in the
future
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly believe the
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 lifestyle
withe
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 when
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 would have
Correct article usage
a positively
show examples
positively
Change the adverb
positive
show examples
 effect in
future
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Consider mentioning both perspectives in your thesis statement to provide clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the clarity of your arguments. Some points are unclear, particularly in the second paragraph. Make sure each point connects logically to your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. This will improve the overall readability of your essay. For example, 'a praising children play' could be rephrased for clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that directly relate to your arguments. While you mentioned Khalid Ali, providing more situational context could make your example stronger.
task achievement
You demonstrated an understanding of the concept of parental influence on children's success, which is essential for the essay topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion restates your position, which provides closure to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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