Remote work has drastically improved productivity. This boost in productivity is attributed to the improved work-life balance that becomes more attainable when working from home. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
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contemporary era, the norm of working from home
have
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has
show examples
dramatically escalated the range of productive outputs delivered by any
organizations
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organization
show examples
following
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this
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trend.
Morever
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Moreover
, proponents
also
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believe that
this
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amendement
Correct your spelling
amendment
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
bolstered the
work-life
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balance
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by plunging the discrepancy within it.
However
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, in my opinion, I side my
earnest
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earnestly
show examples
conviction
opposing
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oppose
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this
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ideology as I opine that
this
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prevailing scenario
had
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has
show examples
elevated the culture of working overtime to meet the enforced job requirements
as well as
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it has
also
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resulted
into
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in
show examples
building up
higher
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a higher
show examples
state of unrealistic expectations in terms of tasks accomplishments. Embarking on the discussion,
promotion
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the promotion
show examples
of overtime analogy in any sector of jobs can be accounted as one of the detrimental
reason
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reasons
show examples
obliterating the generation of a proper
work-life
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balance
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.
Furthermore
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,
such
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predicament
Correct article usage
a predicament
show examples
will forcefully cultivate the habit of working beyond hours within the community of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
when it is progressively enforced by the employers in the name of enhancing the rate of productivity for their respective organizations.
Consequently
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, most of the employees will be under the feeling of consternation ending up opting
Linking Words
this
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for this
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perilous norm as part of their routine
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
.
For example
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, as per a report published by an IT employee welfare community, the proportion of
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
working beyond hours in the area of Information Technology has surged to more than 50% in
span
Add an article
the span
a span
show examples
of
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last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
3 years
due to
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constant pressure from the fear of getting
laid-off
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laid off
show examples
from their companies.
Furthermore
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, the
prevalance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
of working remotely
have
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has
show examples
also
Linking Words
corrupted the mindsets of managing authorities of any
organizations
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organization
show examples
as their rising inclination towards
Add an article
the fulfillment
show examples
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
of some unrealistic work expectations. As it is acceptable to think that performing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
from home will provide a worker with
sense
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a sense
show examples
of desired flexibility, hiring firms have started to manifest preposterous work output demands in order to compensate for that extra proportion of provided flexibility.
As a result
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, encouragement
to
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of
show examples
this
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though
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thought
show examples
process
have
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has
show examples
hampered
employees
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employees'
employee's
show examples
work-life
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balance
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as they have to sacrifice their personal moments in order to plunge their professional insecurities levels.
For instance
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of the populace working from their own place spends more than half of their daily hours behind the accomplishment of their assigned projects. That being said, it is an undeniable fact that opting
the
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for the
show examples
culture of working remotely
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
proven to be a tremendously effective amendment for all
the
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apply
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companies to boost
up
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apply
show examples
their
overall
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growth.
Additionally
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, some part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
also
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propogates
Correct your spelling
propagates
that
this
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change has
lead
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led
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to
development
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the development
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of better
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
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, my opinion inclines in the oppose of
this
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notion
due to
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noticeable growth in working overtime rate
along with
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rise
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the rise
a rise
show examples
in
bizzare
Correct your spelling
bizarre
expectations from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers resulting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional
burnouts
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burnout
show examples
for any human being being a victim of it.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between ideas and ensuring that paragraphs clearly support your main points. A clearer connection between sentences can enhance readability.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your main argument by making sure that your stance is easier to follow throughout the essay. Explicitly state your opinions and counterarguments where necessary.
language use
Try to use more varied vocabulary and expressions to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which is a strong point in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction presents a clear opinion, setting the stage for your argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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