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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The multi-line graph depicts the proportion of residents who dwelled in
Correct article usage
the Philippine
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Philippine
Fix the agreement mistake
Philippines
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, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia in the period of
50-year
Correct your spelling
50 years
 from 1970 to 2020 and is projected by the next two decades 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that at the inception point, in 1970, Indonesia and Thailand accounted for the lowest ones,
while
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 Malaysia and
Correct article usage
the Philippine
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Philippine
Fix the agreement mistake
Philippines
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 were the highest. By scrutinizing
view
Correct article usage
the view
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, it can be seen that living in cities escalated up to 2020 and
this
Linking Words
 figure is continuing to the end of 2040. The number of Indonesian people went up approximately to 17% in 1980.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend increased moderately to 30% in 2000 which crossed the Thailand line.
Moreover
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, it rose considerably
50
Change preposition
by 50
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% in the year 2020 and
this
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 way is predicted to go on to the end of the period at 60% in 2040. The Indonesian grew substantially at 30% in 1990.
Then
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 it remained relatively stable in the next triple decades. It is anticipated to escalate dramatically
nearly
Change preposition
by nearly
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 50% in 2040.
On the other hand
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,
in contrast
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 to other
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 the
Malaysian
Replace the word
Malaysians
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 tended to reside in cities more. In 1970, there was 30% in urban areas, but it made up to a little under 50% in 1990. From that time
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 to
the
Change the article
apply
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2040,
this
Linking Words
 method carries on at the highest one at 80% compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 three nations.
Although
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 the people in
Correct article usage
the Philippine
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Philippine
Fix the agreement mistake
Philippines
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, constituted the
toppest
Correct your spelling
top
 one at
first,
Linking Words
urbanization
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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fluctuation until 2010. From onward, it is forecasted to grow at 50% in 2040.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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