IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

In most of the socities,the role of mother and father differs.what are the causes of this differences? What will be the parental role in future?

In most societies, both parents
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 different roles
due to
Linking Words
 social , economic and cultural norms.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into the various reasons and
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 about the upcoming role of the mother and father in forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are numerous reasons associated with
this
Linking Words
 notion. Traditionally, mothers play
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
 in children's development, caregiving, household chores and nurturing
while
Linking Words
 fathers act as
a breadwinners
Correct the article-noun agreement
breadwinners
a breadwinner
show examples
. They are responsible for bringing amenities to the entire family.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
cultual
Correct your spelling
cultural
 norms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 main factors. In the bygone era, only male
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 used to work
therefore
Linking Words
, they were managing the expenses of the entire family. As time goes on, nowadays it is not possible for one person to manage the finances of all the family members
due to
Linking Words
 rising inflation and taxes.Male members are
also
Linking Words
 helping
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in doing household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 or
growing
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 their kids.

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coherence
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating the causes and future roles you will discuss. This provides a clearer roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents an argument about parental roles.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role
  • responsibility
  • nurturing
  • provider
  • gender stereotypes
  • cultural norms
  • economic conditions
  • dual-income families
  • shared responsibilities
  • parental leave
  • family dynamics
  • equality
  • upbringing
  • influence
  • future of parenting
  • social changes
  • gender equality
  • child development
  • work-life balance
  • caregiving
What to do next:
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