IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that it is acceptable to test medicine intended for people on animals. Others, however, believe that it is not right to use animals in this research. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is ok to
test
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medicine
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 for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 on
animals
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.
Wheares
Correct your spelling
Whereas
 other
people
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 believe that it is not ok to
use
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 in our
resaarch
Correct your spelling
research
animals
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will talk about both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
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view
show examples
 and my opinion as
will
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well
show examples
. On the
first
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other
show examples
 hand, the
people
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 who think that it is acceptable to
use
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animals
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 testing
medicine
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 could be right in some cases.
Form
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example
it
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apply
show examples
the researchers
knowes
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know
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 what they are doing and
if
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apply
show examples
they are sure that the
medicine
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 they will
test
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
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 will not cause any danger
for
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to
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 lives.
And it
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It
show examples
 is not acceptable for them to
use
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 human
medicine
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 on
animals
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 if they are not sure
about
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apply
show examples
if it will affect the
animals
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.
For instance
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 if
they
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apply
show examples
50 per cent
not
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are not
show examples
 sure about
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animals
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animals'
animal's
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 health after taking
this
Linking Words
medicine
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then
Linking Words
 it will be not
Correct your spelling
capable
capebale
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possible
 for them to
use
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animals
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 on that
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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how
Correct your spelling
now
show examples
 believe that it is not right to
use
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animals
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 in
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
.
Ok
Add the punctuation
Ok,
show examples
there
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their
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 point is right in some cases.
For example
Linking Words
, if there is another method to see if the
medicine
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 is good and ready to
use
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 in
people
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then
Linking Words
 in
this
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 case there is no need to
use
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animals
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. And sometimes they are wrong. If there is nothing to replace the
animals
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reserchers
Correct your spelling
researchers
 must
use
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animals
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 in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
reserches
Correct your spelling
research
. Because if they did not
test
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 the
medicine
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 before using it in
people
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 it may cause a lot of death. In conclusion, it is so hard to tell my opinion but
overall
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, my opinion is they must
test
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 the
medicine
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 in
animals
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 if there is nothing
elss
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else
 to replace them. As we can see there
is
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are
show examples
 a lot of medicines we are using nowadays and they have been tested
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Use appropriate linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. For example, instead of 'On the first hand' use 'On the one hand' and instead of 'On the other hand' you might consider 'Conversely'.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your writing to catch spelling and grammatical errors such as 'Wheares', 'resaarch', 'how', 'thier', etc. that could affect the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more detailed evidence or examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific alternatives to animal testing or cases where animal testing has been beneficial. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear understanding of the debate surrounding animal testing. Your ability to articulate both sides of the argument is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
The essay structure is present with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views and a conclusion, which is a good foundation to build upon.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal testing
  • medical research
  • treatment
  • human diseases
  • safety
  • efficacy
  • ethical guidelines
  • regulations
  • minimize suffering
  • humane treatment
  • sentient beings
  • rights
  • alternative methods
  • in vitro testing
  • computer modeling
  • reliable
  • biological differences
  • ineffective
  • harmful treatments
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