IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at a cinema from 1980 to now.

the diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at a cinema from 1980 to now.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
two
Use synonyms
 maps show a
cinema
Use synonyms
 as it was in 1980 and as it is currently. The most significant change concerns the rise in the number of
cinema
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
, and the creation of new spaces for consumers to purchase items or relax. The number of movie screens rose, moving from
two
Use synonyms
cinema
Use synonyms
rooms
Use synonyms
 in 1980 to five available today,
two
Use synonyms
 of which completely replaced the car park, originally located
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the northern area of the map. Back in 1980, just right to the entrance, the ticket shop was located beside the drinks shop. The latter has been currently replaced by a DVD shop, and
two
Use synonyms
 more movie
rooms
Use synonyms
 were constructed on
this
Linking Words
 side of the
cinema
Use synonyms
. To the left side of the entrance, guests can now purchase food and drinks, or rest in the relax room,
whereas
Linking Words
 in 1980 the same spot was occupied by one of the
two
Use synonyms
 movie
rooms
Use synonyms
. The toilet, located to the left side of the
cinema
Use synonyms
,
did
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not
undergo
Wrong verb form
undergone
show examples
 any change in its location or size since 1980.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, cinema, rooms with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: