IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentages of the population by age groups in one town who rode bicycles in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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A glance at the table given illustrates the percentages of cyclist's population in a particular city in 2011. The table reveals the age band contains
in
Change preposition
apply
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5 age groups and 2 genders (female and male). Based on an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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women
most
Rephrase
were more
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 likely
rode
Change the verb form
to ride
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 their
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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 in 2011 than men.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children (0-9
years
Use synonyms
 old) obtained the first position for cycling the most,
while
Linking Words
middle aged
Add a hyphen
middle-aged
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 (between 40-59
years
Use synonyms
 old) got the
least
Correct your spelling
last
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 place. First of all, from the female sector,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
girls around 0-9
years
Use synonyms
 old attained the highest percentage
by
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apply
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51.3%. The second position was
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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 (10-17
years
Use synonyms
 old) which was 42.2%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
midldle-aged
Correct your spelling
middle-aged
 (40-59
years
Use synonyms
 old) took the least percentage by 12.3%. From the male sector,
similarly
Linking Words
with
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to
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 girls, boys
was
Change the verb form
were
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 put in the first place which was 50.3%.
Then
Linking Words
, adolescents were
the
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in the
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 second
posiion
Correct your spelling
position
by
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with
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 24.6%
Finnaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
 the least position in all ranges was the adult (40-59
years
Use synonyms
 old) by the
exatct
Correct your spelling
exact
 8%.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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