"Some people believe that advertising has a significant impact on people’s purchasing decisions, while others think that personal preferences play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

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There are different views on whether advertising has the highest impact on
people
Use synonyms
's purchasing decisions or whether personal preferences
display
Verb problem
play
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a significant role.I totally agree that advertisements are an essential method in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. on the one hand, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
prefer
advertising
Correct article usage
the advertising
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aspect needed to attract customers
about
Change preposition
to
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their products .
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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some items in the store have increased monthly profits
according to
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the majority of beliefs
such
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as clothes , fruits and vegetable products.
In other words
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, it supplies monthly profits of these goods rather than those commodities are sold in a month so
this
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procedure conferring the traders to
sale
Replace the word
sell
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them a week or a day.
Furthermore
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, plenty of markets need
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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influence on marketing.
For example
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malls. After frequent visits through
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
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action, the
people
Use synonyms
will visit
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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local shops frequently to sailing the product.
on the other hand
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, some individuals depend on personal abilities to sell their services like the trading of jewellery.
Moreover
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, they use popular programs in order to get much information about dealing with customs to convince them about their services.
In addition
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, internet networking assists the public to see online products by
using
Verb problem
apply
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browsing the internet. so,
this
Linking Words
accessible device gives reliable service for them quickly.
Thus
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, often
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
used
to
Change preposition
apply
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personal experiences to promote their goods in recent days. In conclusion, despite a number of customers
have
Wrong verb form
having
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multiple choices to promote their trading today. I agree that the advertising approach is a crucial term that leads most owners of projects to have a perfect profit through the smallest period.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider introducing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the overall structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your ideas with specific examples or evidence, as this will enhance the clarity and persuasion of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Include a stronger connection between your main points and the conclusion to reinforce your opinion and summarize your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You've presented both views effectively and expressed your own opinion clearly.
task achievement
The essay covers the main ideas related to advertising and personal preference in purchasing decisions.
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