IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Q1. Nowadays,many people have to work longer hours and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier.

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In the
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
 world,
due to
Linking Words
 working longer
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 face
stressed
Replace the word
stress
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as compared to previous.Over workload and
finanicial
Correct your spelling
financial
necessisty
Correct your spelling
necessity
 are two major reasons behind
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, in order to make their life
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier employers can provide them
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
 facilities
such
Linking Words
 as gyms ,
Use synonyms
spa
Fix the agreement mistake
spas
show examples
and
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 paid
voccations
Correct your spelling
vocations
vacations
. Undoubtedly,
due to
Linking Words
 the advancement of tech businesses
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
more competitive
thus
Linking Words
 employers are more focused on achieving
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 or
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
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 with minimal cost of
employees
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , if there is
work
Use synonyms
 that should be done by 10
people
Use synonyms
 they would
hired
Change the verb form
hire
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 only 8 and put some extra workload
to
Change preposition
on
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 others
therefore
Linking Words
employees
Use synonyms
 have to do
work
Use synonyms
Change preposition
for
show examples
excisive period of
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 tiredness and spending most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 at
Correct article usage
the offices
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offices
Fix the agreement mistake
office
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 which
compromised
Wrong verb form
compromises
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 their personal growth.
In addition
Linking Words
 , financial need
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
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another aspect that
forced
Wrong verb form
forces
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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some
people
Use synonyms
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work
Use synonyms
 harder.
Employees
Use synonyms
 are an integral part of every
singal
Correct your spelling
single
 business,
taking
Correct word choice
and taking
show examples
 care of them should be
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of employers.
Although
Linking Words
 spending
Correct article usage
a
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longer
time
Use synonyms
 at
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
 makes
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 tired , providing access to
Correct article usage
a
show examples
free gym and
spa
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 site not only
stress
Correct subject-verb agreement
stresses
show examples
 buster to them
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
but also
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 motivates them to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 hard.
For instance
Linking Words
 , companies like Canada
cartage
Capitalize word
Cartage
show examples
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 gym and
spa
Use synonyms
 facilities at their
work
Use synonyms
 sites for those who
work
Use synonyms
 more than
regural
Correct your spelling
regular
 hours.
In addition
Linking Words
, providing extra paid
vocation
Correct your spelling
vacation
show examples
 to those who
work
Use synonyms
 harder or longer hours would make their life more
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
 as they got some
time
Use synonyms
 for their personal growth or families. To
sumup
Correct your spelling
sum up
,
Correct article usage
an
show examples
overwhelming workload and economic burden are two major causes why
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 more than usual hours and lead to more stress ,in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 should provide facilities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 and
spa
Use synonyms
 with extra paid
voccation
Correct your spelling
vocation
vacation
this
Linking Words
 would result in stress
bustering
Correct your spelling
blustering
busting
buttering
 and more productivity of
employees
Use synonyms
 which eventually helps to growth of particular business as well.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to develop a clearer introduction that sets the context and main points of your essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples and explanations for your points. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which can occasionally distract from your message. Proofread your work to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You've identified key reasons and solutions related to the issue of stress from long working hours, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant ideas that are beneficial to the discussion of how employers can support their employees.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • increased competition
  • technological advancements
  • blurring the lines
  • economic pressures
  • organizational culture
  • job insecurity
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • mental health support
  • counseling services
  • stress management
  • recognize and reward
  • boost morale
  • workplace conditions
  • ergonomic
  • physical and mental strain
  • encourage delegation
  • distribute workload
  • prevent burnout
  • supportive work environment
What to do next:
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