IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Q1. Nowadays,many people have to work longer hours and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier.

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In
this
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
decade
Add a comma
decade,
show examples
 our world has seen significant growth like never before and
this
Linking Words
 growing world
had
Wrong verb form
has
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also
Linking Words
 gifted us a
stressed
Replace the word
stressful
show examples
 life.
Increase
Correct article usage
An increase
show examples
 in the
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
 between two companies has led to
Use synonyms
work
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an individual for longer hours which
probably
Add a missing verb
is probably
show examples
 a reason why our society is messed up. In
upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraph
Add a comma
,
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we will discuss the reason behind it and how we can tackle it.
Last
Linking Words
 week CEO of Mecksson LTD
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 gave a statement that an individual should
work
Use synonyms
 seventy to eighty hours a week which led to a debate in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world. I believe that rivalry between two growing companies and any kind of
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has forced people to
work
Use synonyms
 for longer hours as their manager wants them to complete
work
Use synonyms
 as early as possible, pressuring their employees
for working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 late after their shift.
However
Linking Words
, which the effects personal life of everyone as they don't have much time to spend with their family and friends.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
expensives
Correct your spelling
expensive
expenses
 have grown a lot, as
price
Add an article
the price
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 of everything is touching the sky.
Majoity
Correct your spelling
Majority
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 can't afford
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
expensive
Replace the word
expenses
show examples
 with a single job which is
also
Linking Words
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason why our society is working overtime and doing double shifts.  In
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 survey,
publiushed
Correct your spelling
published
 in 'The Tribune'
had
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 shown the study that workers are
more happily
Correct word choice
happier
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in a company
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
perform
Correct subject-verb agreement
performs
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 extra fun or
voluntering
Correct your spelling
volunteering
 activities once or twice a month. Many distribution
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have bbq, play games
along with
Linking Words
 saving
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 activities.
This
Linking Words
divert
Change the verb form
diverts
show examples
mind
Add an article
the mind
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 of a person from their daily routine and after
such
Linking Words
 kind of
refreshmnent
Correct your spelling
refreshment
refreshments
 people
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 their 100%
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, I would love to mention that every workplace should perform any kind of
activies
Correct your spelling
activity
 or take their employee
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a tour after
companies
Replace the word
the company's
show examples
 peak season or after
Correct article usage
the succesfully
show examples
succesfully
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
 completion of the project.

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task achievement
Make sure to address both parts of the prompt clearly. Discuss the reasons for stress and suggest actionable solutions for employers more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation. There are several spelling mistakes (e.g., 'competetion', 'expensives', 'Majoity') that can affect your clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences and transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your claims. For instance, you could detail certain volunteering activities that are particularly effective or share more on the effects of long working hours.
content
The essay presents relevant issues related to modern work-life balance, which is a critical and timely topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • increased competition
  • technological advancements
  • blurring the lines
  • economic pressures
  • organizational culture
  • job insecurity
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • mental health support
  • counseling services
  • stress management
  • recognize and reward
  • boost morale
  • workplace conditions
  • ergonomic
  • physical and mental strain
  • encourage delegation
  • distribute workload
  • prevent burnout
  • supportive work environment
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