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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

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Over the course of the
last
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 decades, finding a suitable
job
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 has become increasingly challenging. Many older
job
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 seekers have to compete with younger
candidates
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 for the same position, which can induce several problems
such
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 as large-scale unemployment and workplace conflicts for both individuals and societies.
Therefore
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, some measures should be taken to address these issues effectively. Admittedly,
this
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 keen competition between the experienced and the young
candidates
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 creates a wide range of problems. First of all, the majority of
the
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apply
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employers tend to recruit
the
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apply
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young
candidates
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 because of their broad technological skills
as well as
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 their adaptability, which was supported in a recent in Germany
that
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in
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more
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which more
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 than 83% of employers place a premium on young adults in the
job
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 market.
Hence
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,
the
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older people may struggle to find a decent
job
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 to cover their initial expenses which may lead to serious financial issues.
Moreover
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,
due to
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this
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trend
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trend,
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 the rate of unemployment among older
job
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 seekers has soared in numerous countries. In addressing
such
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 issues, the joint effort of both individuals and governments is required. On one hand, people should keep themselves updated by acquiring more knowledge through attending various courses
such
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 as computing or marketing online.
On the other hand
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, governments can encourage
the
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apply
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employers to provide more
job
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 opportunities for older
candidates
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 by offering to pay subsidies to those who take on them. In summary,
the
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apply
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age discrimination in
hiring
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the hiring
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 process brings about some challenges for older
candidates
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 that should be tackled by the sincere effort of the states and the
job
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 seekers.

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specific examples
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive, particularly in the discussion of unemployment and job competition.
clarity and connection
Make sure to clearly state the connection between problems and solutions in a more detailed way, to show how each solution directly addresses a particular problem.
content
The essay presents a clear argument with relevant points about the challenges older job seekers face and potential solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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