Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal of more money than people in other impòrtant professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is a long debated topic that paying enormous salaries to athletes is totally fair

whereas

Linking Words

, some opponents argue that other occupations like the health sector, societal well-being and education deserve to get more income as compared to sportspersons.

Firstly

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, professionals like doctors, teachers, scientists, and nurses are contributing to our society in numerous ways. They have been working in one particular occupation for many years in order to shape the bright future of society. They tackle so many difficulties

such

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as health issues, family disputes, etc. in their daily routine,

therefore

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, still they show

every

Change preposition

up every

show examples

day at

work

Use synonyms

which depicts their honesty and dedication toward

work

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, scientists

work

Use synonyms

long hours in the laboratories for their

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

, and experiments,

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

and while

show examples

working, they have to handle so many dangerous chemicals. Spending a lot of time under harmful radiation results in various diseases. Scientists face all these consequences to save the planet.

Secondly

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, excessive commercialization promotes the concept of earning more money easy way in no time. Youth

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

trying to follow the same path because they observe that celebrities from different fields are getting big amounts for advertising products. They do not understand that it

also

Linking Words

requires a lot of hard

work

Use synonyms

and dedication.The young generation is distracted from choosing professional sectors for their career they tend to get attracted more to the glamorous lifestyle of celebrities.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Add a comma

this,

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there is a lack of human enforcement in the fields of essential services, fields that

work

Use synonyms

for the development of the nation and many more.

While

Linking Words

it’s clear that professional athletes play a critical role in the entertainment industry and generate enormous revenue, I believe there should be more recognition and better compensation for professions that contribute directly to societal well-being, like healthcare, education, and research.

saroaekamal423Mon Feb 03 2025

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task achievement

Include a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to clearly outline your position on the issue.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.

task achievement

Add more specific examples for the benefits of professions such as healthcare or education where appropriate to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Your essay presents both sides of the argument, indicating a balanced discussion which is commendable.

coherence and cohesion

You have a good range of vocabulary and show awareness of the topic, which enhances your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal of more money than people in other impòrtant professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best of improve road safety is to icrease the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.

Due to poorer countries experiencing a “brain drain” they are seeing many professionals such as doctors and teachers leaving to work in more developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with this situation?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?