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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1984, 1993 amd 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the sales of new cars in Australia in 1984, 1993 amd 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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A glance at
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 charts given reveals the percentage of new
vehicle's
Change noun form
vehicle
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 in Australia in April 1994, 2004, and 2013. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, there was
enhancement
Add an article
the enhancement
an enhancement
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vehicle's
Change noun form
vehicle
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 from 42,900 units in April 1994 to 85,000 units in April 2013. In every
each
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
, it can be seen that Sedans attained the
first
Use synonyms
 position for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
, and other
brands
Use synonyms
 and
SUVs
Use synonyms
 got the
second
Use synonyms
 and
third
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1994, Sedans obtained the
first
Use synonyms
 position by 74%, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the highest percentage
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Morevover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, unknown
brands
Use synonyms
 and
SUVs
Use synonyms
 got
second
Use synonyms
 and
third
Use synonyms
 places by 19% and 7%, which were the least percentages
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in 2004, Sedans took
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 by 62% which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
Change preposition
to others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other
brands
Use synonyms
 and
SUVs
Use synonyms
 got
second
Use synonyms
 and
third
Use synonyms
 positions by 21%
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 17%.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, in April 2013,the
first
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 was Sedan by 51% which were the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentages
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
Change preposition
to others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other
brands
Use synonyms
 and
SUVs
Use synonyms
 got
second
Use synonyms
 and
third
Use synonyms
 positions by 32%
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 17%. It is interesting to see that there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 incremental
sales
Use synonyms
 in various
brands
Use synonyms
 and
SUVs
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year,
while
Linking Words
Sedan got
Correct your spelling
sedans
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, years, first, brands, suvs, second, third, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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