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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.
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The bar charts illustrate the four destination options for
UK’s
Correct article usage
the UK’s
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universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
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graduates
Use synonyms
 after graduating in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
students
Use synonyms
 from both groups opted to pursue
further
Linking Words
 education.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the least popular
option
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
. Generally, the two groups were divided into graduate and postgraduate
graduates
Use synonyms
 and their preferred
Use synonyms
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
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 after they finished their studies and both groups had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar trend.
Moreover
Linking Words
, over 29.000 and 2.700
students
Use synonyms
 chose to continue their studies after graduation followed by part-time
work
Use synonyms
 as the second largest
option
Use synonyms
 by correspondents with 17.735 and 2.535
graduates
Use synonyms
, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the least popular
option
Use synonyms
 for
graduates
Use synonyms
 since merely 3.500 graduate and 345 postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 engaged in
this
Linking Words
 type of employment. Surprisingly, the figure of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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graduates
Use synonyms
 was higher than voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 with over 16.000 and 1.600
students
Use synonyms
 still did not secure their own job.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, students, work, option with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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