In many countries, people like to eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages

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In the globalisation era, it is easier for

people

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to learn about other foreign cultures.

People

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have opportunities to explore other traditions and cultures outside their

regions

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As a result

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, young

people

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have more interest in foreign

foods

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than local

foods

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This

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essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of foreign

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foods

Change the noun form

food

show examples

preferences in the

community

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. The possibility of having

goods

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from other countries increases the

trade

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activities among two or more countries.

People

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can import food commodities which are produced in other

regions

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. At the same time, local commodities can

also

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be exported.

Therefore

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, with

this

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trade

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, both

regions

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could focus on producing

goods

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that need lower cost for them. It is called specialisation, which can lead to efficiency.

For example

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, Country A has a lower cost to produce apples. On the other side, Country B is more efficient in producing corn.

Then

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, A and B could focus on growing apples and corn, respectively. After that, both countries can

trade

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their commodities. Since each of them has a lower cost to produce, the price of

goods

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will be cheaper. Not only on the economic side, but the trend will

also

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increase the diversity of culture in the

community

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, which can enhance their knowledge.

However

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this

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trend does not only have positive impacts but

also

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negative impacts. Because more

people

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in the

community

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tend to prefer more foreign food, local

foods

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can be vulnerable.

As a result

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, the

community

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loses its own culture.

For example

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, in Indonesia, most of the younger generations do not know how to make their own traditional

foods

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Furthermore

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, the trend will impact

the

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apply

show examples

local businesses. Since the demand for local

goods

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decreases, the local businesses will experience a loss. In conclusion, the preference of the younger generation for

foods

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from other

regions

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will bring positive and negative impacts on the

economic

Replace the word

economy

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and society. To preserve the local traditions,

people

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need to learn their own culture.

Moreover

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, the government shall implement policies related to

trade

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in order to save

the

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apply

show examples

local businesses.

dimitriswasthikaTue Feb 04 2025

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coherence and cohesion

While the essay has a clear structure, make sure every paragraph aligns closely with your thesis statement in providing a balanced view. For the disadvantages section, consider including more specific examples and elaborating on how local businesses are adversely affected by the trend.

coherence and cohesion

In the introduction, you could more clearly state your position to enhance the clarity of your argument. The conclusion could benefit from a stronger summarization of both advantages and disadvantages, reiterating the key points made in the essay to reinforce your argument.

task achievement

Try to incorporate more specific details or statistics to support your points, especially regarding the impact on local culture and businesses. Also, consider addressing counterarguments briefly to demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a coherent structure with separate paragraphs for each main idea, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

You effectively discuss the economic benefits of trade and specialization, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic and its implications.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

336 words

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In many countries, people like to eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Every year more students to study online rather than attend classes on campus What you think the causes of this trends?What are the solution for that

Too much emphasis is placed on education. More government money should be spent on providing free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?