IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people seem to lead very busy lives, and have much less free time than they would like. What do you think are the causes of this situation? What measures could be taken to improve it?

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Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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people
Use synonyms
 seem to have more activities to do and less free
time
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads to
people
Use synonyms
 not
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 happy or doing the things they have to do
Use synonyms
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
lees
Correct your spelling
less
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 effort. Social media has a huge
roll
Correct your spelling
role
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 in
this
Linking Words
,
becase
Correct your spelling
because
 of social media
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society it's starting to
se
Correct your spelling
see
 other
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
livs
Correct your spelling
live
lives
 and want to do or have the same
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 that others post on
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 socials so even
do
Correct word choice
if do
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 they dont
actualy engoy
Correct your spelling
actually enjoy
 or need what other have, they feel the meed to do and have everything, even do it is imposible to have the same life as others becose you dont have the same oportunities or times.
People
Use synonyms
 need to stop
Correct your spelling
comparing
compairing
Correct your spelling
comparing
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
Correct your spelling
lives
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 to social media and
star
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
prioritaising
Correct your spelling
prioritising
prioritizing
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own, divide
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
Correct your spelling
activities
activitis
Correct your spelling
activities
in
Change preposition
into
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 what they want to do, and what they need to do,
for example
Linking Words
, you have to go to work at 8:00am but you want to go to pilates at 8:00 am or you want to have
lonch
Correct your spelling
lunch
whit
Use synonyms
 your friends at 3:00pm but you need to finish some work tasks for the same day. So there are a lot of different measures they could be taken,
such
Linking Words
 as, making a agenda
whit
Use synonyms
 all the "need to do" stuf. and do it in the morning so they have the afternoon to do what they whant and have some
time
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 to rest,
also
Linking Words
 they culd quit to something that are not that imortant and consume
time
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 in the day. Its important to have a sturcure agenda
whit
Use synonyms
 the important thing mark and
also
Linking Words
whit
Use synonyms
 some free
time
Use synonyms
 becose it
also
Linking Words
 important, know how to divide your day or weak and be responsable
whit
Use synonyms
 your obligation.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to check for spelling and grammar errors, as they can affect the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples or evidence to better support your arguments.
task achievement
You have identified social media as a significant factor in the busy lives of people, which is a relevant observation.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of the importance of balancing responsibilities and leisure activities, which is an important topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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