IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

"Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Language
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 is the main tool for communication among
people
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. Over the years the
languages
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 which are spoken by less population disappeared.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that decreasing
language
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 diversity will simplify
communications
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of
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between
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people
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 with different backgrounds, others
emphasis
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emphasise
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on
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apply
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the importance of linguistic extinction, which is associated with cultural distinction over
the
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apply
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time and should be prohibited. I agree with the first view and will discuss both views in
this
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 essay. On the one hand,
language
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 extinction would offer the main
languages
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 which are spoken by more population or countries with higher economic status to play
as
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apply
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a major tool in worldwide
communications
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. That unity of a second
language
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,
firstly
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increase
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increases
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 the necessity and increase those
languages
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 exposure,
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secondly
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secondly,
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 it will lead to
emphasize
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emphasis
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 on learning the most common
languages
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 as a foreign
language
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 at schools to nurture a
well communicated
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well-communicated
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 nation.
Subsequently
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, it decreases the use of native
languages
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 which are inherited by smaller nations over the years.
Therefore
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, both linguistic diversity and cultural collaborations with those
languages
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 will be under threat of disappearance.
On the other hand
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, introducing a second
language
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 as a major tool for speaking at international levels will simplify
the
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apply
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communications
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.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
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people
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 around the world are familiar with the English through school’s education system.
Thus
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, they will be able to dive in daily speaking
at
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on
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 a trip to a foreign even if they are not familiar with their own
language
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. Another reason is that a bilingual person who is proficient in
the
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apply
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English
as
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apply
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will be open to many work opportunities
that
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apply
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suggested by international companies that will provide an opportunity to learn more about
people
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 from different cultural backgrounds. In conclusion, simplifying international
communications
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 and providing a strong collaboration among
people
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 with different
background
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backgrounds
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by
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in
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 a foreign
language
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are
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is
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 much more important in terms of worldwide
communications
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 that the potential disadvantages can be ignored.

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task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the opinion. This will help to strengthen your argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of ideas from one sentence and paragraph to the next. For example, instead of 'Another reason is that...', you might say, 'Additionally, it's important to consider that...'.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, mentioning a specific language that has died out and the cultural impacts of its extinction could make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on language extinction and presents arguments for the agreed view, demonstrating a balanced approach.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion about language extinction and its implications, providing a clear framework for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Language extinction
  • Communication barrier
  • Linguistic imperialism
  • Endangered languages
  • Language revitalization
  • Monolingual
  • Multilingual
  • Language preservation
  • Homogenization
  • Language policy
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Intangible heritage
  • Indigenous languages
  • Globalization
  • Dialects
  • Localization
  • Language documentation
  • Digital archiving
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