Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

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there is no doubt that these days many teenagers spend their day

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching television and playing a lot of computer

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

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rather than spending their day on something useful. The question is, what makes

children

Use synonyms

interested in television and playing video games, but not in reading or learning something new

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this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss and draw my own conclusion.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

Mother's

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Mother

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should know how to transfer their

children

Use synonyms

's interest from watching TV and playing to

read

Wrong verb form

reading

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books and learning something new. The main reason given to support

this

Linking Words

claim is that by knowing what interests them, they will easily

manapulate

Correct your spelling

manipulate

them and make them

happly

Correct your spelling

happy

happily

want to do it. To illustrate, if the boy likes animals, the father can take him to the zoo,

then

Linking Words

show him a book

contain with

Wrong verb form

containing

show examples

all the different kinds of animals or read a story about wild animals. That will make him fall into it and make him love to read.

In other words

Linking Words

, knowing how to catch their eyes is easier than letting them waste their time playing video and watching television shows.

Moreover

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, explain to kids why reading is useful for them.

Firstly

Linking Words

, from reading the

children

Use synonyms

will know a variety of vocabulary.

In other words

Linking Words

, when they want to explain something, they will say it easily without being afraid of saying the wrong word.

Secondly

Linking Words

, reading makes them knowledgeable of different aspects of the world.

This

Linking Words

is because, when they get older, they will have a list of different vocabularies, which they know how to use easily in the correct place in the sentence.

Also

Linking Words

, not only

gained

Wrong verb form

will they gain

show examples

know

Replace the word

knowledge

show examples

Change preposition

of vocabularies

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vocabularies

Fix the agreement mistake

vocabulary

show examples

Linking Words

however

Correct word choice

but

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, they will

learn

Rephrase

also learn

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how to understand what they have read, so reading for

children

Use synonyms

so much

Rephrase

very

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important. In conclusion, reading is important for both boys and girls to enhance their knowledge. Mothers and Fathers should reduce the time that their teenagers spend watching TV and playing computer games.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe each parent can know what their

children

Use synonyms

love to

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

benefit from it.

jood6042Tue Feb 04 2025

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language

Ensure correct pluralization and subject-verb agreement to enhance grammatical accuracy.

task achievement

Develop your ideas further, providing more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence

Use clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the overall flow of your essay.

task response

The essay presents a clear stance on the importance of reading compared to watching TV and playing video games.

task achievement

The use of an example related to an interest (animals) effectively illustrates the point about fostering engagement with reading.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

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Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that having substantial wealth and limited leisure time is preferable to having less money but more free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.