IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe they should start later. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

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It is a common belief that going to
school
Use synonyms
 early is good for
children
Use synonyms
's academic achievement.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that they have to go to
school
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 at
optimised
Correct article usage
an optimised
show examples
 stage considering
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 growth stage. It's because
children
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 in too young age cannot afford the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 which is too complex to understand themselves.
Firstly
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, some people say that kids
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must start their academic education as fast as they can. The main reason is that the earlier they start
Add an article
the study
a study
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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, the
greater
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better
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 they can
performe
Correct your spelling
perform
 in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
For example
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, many
successive
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apply
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people like
doctor
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doctors
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 or
lawyer
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lawyers
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 in Korea
were make
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were made
show examples
 to do academic activities between
their
Change the word
the
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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six
Change preposition
of six
show examples
 and seven. It is
apperantly
Correct your spelling
apparently
 faster than others, but their parents say
such
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educations
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education
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
is
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 the key
of
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to
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 success in their child's life. Indeed, they argue that learning must be started as soon as possible.
Otherwise
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, there is a more persuasive opinion that
children
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 have to go
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school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
checking
Change the verb form
to check
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 developmental stage. If they
conducting
Wrong verb form
conduct
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 extremely early than their recommended year, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not interpret what they learn and the meaning of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
. A recent study has shown that
children
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 who enter a
school
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 earlier than their peers couldn't get good scores in their class. Pediatric scientists said that it's
due to
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 their immature brain, especially their frontal lobe was not formed perspectively to handle
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 they earn in
school
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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 people prefer to teach their kids faster than usual, there is
possibility
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a possibility
the possibility
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which
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that
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 their kids can't get
knowledge
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the knowledge
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 gained in class.
Faster
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A faster
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 one is not always good, especially
to
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for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument and ensure that it is supported with clear examples and reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
general
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar, particularly with commonly used words.
content
You present both sides of the argument which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
content
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized education
  • flexible learning pace
  • peer pressure
  • social development
  • diverse range of ideas
  • comprehensive education
  • specialized educators
  • extracurricular activities
  • traditional schools
  • structured environment
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