IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Working
weeks
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 significantly affect worker
productivity
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.
While
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 some argue that reducing the traditional five-day
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work week
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workweek
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 won't yield benefits, evidence shows that shorter
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work
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workweeks
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weeks
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 enhance employee performance through increased rest time and reduced stress levels. Recovery time is crucial for optimal human performance. Just as athletes require rest days to prevent overtraining and injury, workers need adequate breaks to maintain mental acuity. Research demonstrates that the brain performs best after proper rest periods, explaining why
productivity
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 often peaks in the morning following sleep. Studies by [specific organization] found that employees working four-day
weeks
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 showed 20% higher
productivity
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 compared to those working traditional schedules.
Furthermore
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, shorter
work
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weeks
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 reduce workplace stress and fatigue. Extended periods of meetings and focused
work
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 can impair decision-making abilities and problem-solving skills. Microsoft Japan's trial of a four-day
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work week
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workweek
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 resulted in a 40% increase in
productivity
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 and significant improvements in employee satisfaction. In conclusion, reducing
work
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weeks
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 provides essential recovery time and decreases workplace stress, leading to enhanced
productivity
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 that benefits both employees and organizations. The evidence suggests that shorter working
weeks
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 can help workers achieve their peak performance
while
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 maintaining
work
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-life balance.

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task achievement
Consider offering more specific examples or studies that directly relate to a wider range of industries or roles.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single point related to the main argument for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
You might want to elaborate slightly more in your introduction to further outline the structure of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a well-structured argument supporting your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main argument, providing a strong framework for your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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