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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes in the percentage of households with cars in one European country between 1971 and 2001.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph displays the differences in the proportion of
households
Use synonyms
 with automobiles in
one
Use synonyms
 nation in Europe between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1971 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who did not own a
car
Use synonyms
 decreased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
while
Linking Words
 those who owned
one
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 automobiles increased over the years. In 1971, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
did not have a
car
Use synonyms
 and in 2001 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
.
Households
Use synonyms
 who did not have a
car
Use synonyms
 began the period at nearly a half in 1971. Individuals who had an automobile were the second highest in 1971 with approximately 35%
while
Linking Words
 those who had
two
Use synonyms
 were the lowest at nearly 18% in 1971.
Households
Use synonyms
 with
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 remained the highest at nearly 43%
while
Linking Words
 those with
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 decreased in 1981
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nearly 32%. There was a rise in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 who have
two
Use synonyms
 cars at nearly 28% in 1981. There was a significant
drope
Correct your spelling
drop
 in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who have cars and those who have only
one
Use synonyms
 at nearly 30% and 29% respectively.
People
Use synonyms
 who owned
two
Use synonyms
 went down at approximately 20% in 1991.
Households
Use synonyms
 who had nothing remained
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
at the same proportion in 2001 at 30%
while
Linking Words
 those who had more than
one
Use synonyms
 increased dramatically at 43% and 30% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, one, people, car, two, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 6 times.
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