IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime. what do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? what solutions can you suggest.

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Teenagers
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
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into
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crimes are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 serious problem.Nowadays, citizens are bothered about
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 rise in the juvenile take part into it.In my opinion, these crimes were made because of the modern
moives
Correct your spelling
movies
 and social media influences.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
numerous
Correct word choice
a large
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 number of
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 nowadays
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 to see crime movies and
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 shows which indirectly impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mental health. As we all know what a person sees
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
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 early age will
learn
Verb problem
teach
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that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
things
Use synonyms
 and want to practical that
things
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
.Not only
this
Linking Words
 thing but sometimes they used to enjoy when they used to fight in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools and some
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
also
Linking Words
 get excited when they see blood
comes
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from a
perosn
Correct your spelling
person
 next to them, all of these thing happens because of the early childhood usage of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, these
things
Use synonyms
 will get to control by the time with some
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
for example
Linking Words
, if young
ones
Change noun form
ones'
one's
show examples
 parents used to see
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
reguraly
Correct your spelling
regularly
 and take care of them to see what they are used to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 will
also
Linking Words
 help teenagers to not get into these
things
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can
also
Linking Words
 prevent the usage of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 by setting the time limits on their mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and
approach
Wrong verb form
approaching
show examples
 them to play outside. In summary,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
parents should take a look out
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 and if juveniles avoid the bad companies in their schools and colleges will help them to get rid of these
things
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detail and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Improve the organization of your paragraphs for better flow and clarity. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence
Pay close attention to grammar and sentence structure to make your writing clearer and more polished.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the issue at hand and provide a personal opinion on the causes of juvenile crime.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the topic and reflect current societal concerns.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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